My heart's content...

Thus it is spoken and dreamt, thus it is so

2012-01-09T05:32:00.000-08:00

Folks have been talking about 2012 for quite some time...
There have been fear based stories that have been generated, and love based stories.

Here's my story: The world, energy, is moving much faster than before. We as a people are recognizing that our thoughts are creating physical reality, both positive and negative. Many of us are seeing this connection and learning how to work with the energy of thought ~ for health, happiness and abundance. Those that are not quite on the same wave length are struggling. They don't see the connection between their thoughts, dreams, conversations, actions and their life. And, there is no way to get someone to "see" until they are good and ready to "see".

All realities, all thoughts, all beliefs, all ways of being are valid. No one has the ability to say and make real the thought of "this is the only way" anymore. We are expanding as humanity. We are traveling in realms that were once thought of for "psychics", "see-ers", "medicine men/women", etc. All of us are tapping into the reality of the unseen. Some are trusting the information, some are still holding onto the belief that this area of reality is not for them, only for the "teachers, scholars, learned ones"... I say that is just not so. It just takes practice.

So what is practice and how does one begin? Practice is as simple as blessing your day before you get out of bed, or focusing on your breathing and being present for 5 minutes or as long as hours and days.

For me its about taking responsibility for everything in my life. Its about being gentle when I create a challenge, and trusting that I know deep down how to "undo" anything that I have created, and I have the ability to add energy to any dream or vision I desire. Its about trusting that all is always well, in the lower energy shifts and the very high energy surges. I have become familiar with the energy of myself and that, my friends, is freedom.

So, I offer you this thought... Spend some time feeling what your life is. What makes you giddy with joy, what makes you heavy with sadness and regret, what expands your heart, where do you feel at home (inside your body and out in the world), what can you do to create the life that you truly desire. Make it a practice. A way of being. And soon, before you know it, it will be natural. You won't even be able to remember being any other way and you will be alive. Really alive. Present to the life YOU create! Make it so!

Happy Holiays

2011-12-12T05:48:00.000-08:00

Every year during the holiday season I like to take time to review the year: the joys, challenges, and dreams (realized or not). This year is no different. Many changes in 2011 happened for me, and thus my business. The universe provided me with a blessing in disguise and I moved (self and business) to an amazing little farm house surrounded by 500 acres in “God’s Country” (431 Cobb Street, Groton). I completed my Meridian Massage Certification, and became proficient in Abdominal Meridian Massage which has been a great blessing to many of you.

Due to an accident I was out of work for most of the summer, which gave me much time to reflect and connect to the natural world around me in a much deeper way. When I returned to work I participated in the Cortland Psychic Fair and Holistic Healing Expo which brought much exposure to FCHC and allowed many to experience the benefits of reflexology, Meridian Massage, and Intuition. With client feedback I began offering 2 hour sessions in October.

On the home front, my daughter graduated from SUNY Albany with a Bachelors in Mathematics and plans to gather her resources for 6 months and then head on to do her Masters work. I released a huge dream that was not serving my highest good, and began a new dream! I got to practice forgiveness, gratitude, healing, and became very comfortable with silence and my own company.

My hope for you is that 2011 has been magical and filled with miracles and good health and that the year to come will be even more abundant.

Into the mud I go

2011-08-26T04:59:00.000-07:00

Been a few weeks since my last post and as I sit and ponder whats been happening in my life it amazes me. Seems like time is moving so fast. What normally would have been a very long drawn out process of seeing things inside myself, based on the characters I have called to be on the stage and play certain parts in my learning, has been less than 2 months this time. So the question is for me today does the character have the staying power to work through the mud or are they just a player called to be the watering can so the mud can get deeper and deeper leaving only the choice to sink in, get dirty and crawl to the edge to be sundried and baked. Once baked the mud cracks and flakes off and the beautiful soft skin (or person as the case may be) is fresh and pure and ready for the next opportunity... So dear friends that is the question of the day for me... today in the sunshine I will allow the flaking and will have the organic lotion ready for the soft new skin to come!! Blessings on your own journey inward!

Words and feelings

2011-07-29T05:31:00.000-07:00

I love words... I believe they can heal or harm and the choice is always ours... Words words words. Many things attached for us human beings. One word may bring joy or heartache depending upon the intention of the speaker and the perception of the receiver. I find as I get wiser in age I pay very close attention to how things make me feel. I allow my body to speak to me. I feel all conversations and then I use bodywork as a way to release anything that does not serve me.

Very interesting story... I have a friend who is a "tough" guy. Raised in Brooklyn, very tough traumatic childhood... He was sharing with me just yesterday that in one year he lost his 5 best friends to drugs or violence. As he was talking I began to cry. It confused him. He asked me why I was crying and I shared that his words carried the weight of his suffering. And i felt it inside my heart. He didn't quite understand what I was saying.

I often find that peoples stories affect me. I am quite empathic and it is the reason why I struggle in large crowds. I feel people, and when I listen to their stories I feel even more. It's as if every cell in my body responds to their story. It is an interesting thing for me. Its one of the reasons why I love people so. Everyone wants to feel. But sometimes, like in the case of my friend, we have a story and we tell it and we are not really connected to it. We dont feel it. It's as if just by telling it we can release it... And yes that is important and our words surely help with that... But if you tell it and don't feel it your cells, which have memory, hold the actual event of suffering. It's as if our fabulous bodies say, this is big and I am going to protect you from more suffering by holding it until it is safe for you to connect to it both mentally and emotionally. What a gift... But also the reason for dis-ease... So while you receive bodywork you are processing your lifes struggles and joys and to you I say bravo! Feel it, release it, thank your body and then ENJOY the gifts that come!!

Many blessings on this day and may your words continue to nourish those around you!

The water element

2011-07-18T08:44:00.003-07:00

This morning I watched a most excellent film; the curious case of Benjamin button. It was so beautiful. A memory of human existence backwards in time. The ending made me cry and as I look outside my window it is raining... Amazing how our energy can be so connected to nature. Nature... Natural... Normal... If only we could remember that it takes all the seasons and all energy to create the natural world. We need water and wind and metal and fire and earth... All of them. And they are all connected in the natural world as they are inside of each of us. Our own little cosmos. What we choose to pay attention to gets bigger. So today I will choose to look at my life through the water element. I will allow this precious natural gift that makes up 85% of my internal cosmos to carry any thought, memory, experience that has been challenging to me and wash it down stream so that only the sweetness remains. All experiences have sweetness if we take the time see it. If we recognize that nothing lasts and change is just the river flowing... because in the end we all let go. Letting go while remaining very present to every sensation is one of the gifts that I am very grateful for and may you all find the best way for you to get to that point also. And the sweetness remains the same!! Allow the juices to drip down your chin, sticky your fingers, and fill you up!

The path of least resistance

2011-07-16T04:16:00.000-07:00

As I continue to go inward with my own practices of feeling breathing and wondering I am rewarded with a sense of peace that grounds me, nourishes me, and moves me. As I move forward in life it is interesting to witness the progression of my letting go of the "shoulds" and understanding that the path of least resistance means being in the flow. This was not the belief I was raised with, nor does it seem to be a societal belief. We as a society (here in the us anyway) for the most part are taught that to matter or have value we have to "work our fingers to the bone", have a big house, a nice car, the best of everything... Yes, having stuff is nice but I have been reminded that what we think and feel about our stuff makes a lot of difference to our health. If we believe that it defines us as a human being than we are setting ourselves up for failure. The only thing that is truly ours is our Self. Our internal landscape will always mirror our external landscape. But if we share and are grateful for our stuff it will continue to receive positive energy and things will come to us to make the path of least resistance the norm while still being the guardians of our "stuff"...
If many obstacles appear to slow you down or make something seem unobtainable go inward. Follow your breath and allow the path of least resistance to become the norm for you too! It's a journey worth exploring!!

No manual or guarantee

2011-07-14T03:29:00.000-07:00

As the days blend into on another from my view from the couch I have had lots of time to ponder wonder and play in my mind... A few nights ago I made my first venture out of the house to a womens circle that was very much exactly what I needed. We talked about the four agreements (book by don Miguel Ruiz) and focused on the second one. Take nothing personally. Great reminder for me. Brought me back to the place of remembering that as a human family we all do the best we can and we create our lives exactly how they are with our thoughts and actions and reactions to others actions. This line of thinking brought me to the place of relationships... Everyone enters relationships with hope. We blind ourselves to anothers' for lack of a better word weaknesses. We see only the good. And as time goes on their ( and yours) "ouch places" are revealed. We are not taught as children how to deal with this. So we make excuses, emotionally disengage, or butt our heads against the wall waiting for change. None of these work. The only thing that I believe works is to pay close attention to yourself. To always bring the best you to the table and if it is not serving you to move on. When we are listening to our intuition and we finally realize something is not for our highest good we can then choose how to communicate and move forward. Sometimes it's hard... Matters of the heart are usually the hardest ones... My realization is that there are no guarantees. Promises can be broken. People can do things and say things that feel bad to us, but we are the only ones that think and feel inside ourselves. We can choose how to respond. We can remind ourselves to keep our energy clear so that anthers poison doesn't stick to us and cause holes in our own energy field. And we can pray. Let go of the fairy tale of forever. That's a long time. Appreciate the moments. Release when appropriate and love always. Life goes on and it is good!!

4 weeks in

2011-07-09T04:54:00.000-07:00

Amazing how 4 weeks on a couch can remind you of what matters... I know a number of my clients who have faced cancer and chronic disease have told me the same thing, but hearing it and experiencing it are two very different things. Amazing how quickly the muscles atrophy and the desire to "run a marathon" is so gone...

Now the desire is to have coffee with friends and share our hearts, to experience the sensations in my body so that I can understand when another person describes it the same, to really get a handle on my thought patterns and watch as I do the work to change them, to be gentle with myself, to appreciate the little victories like being able to make coffee and let my dogs out and get myself to the porch to listen to the wind.

When our lives are really busy because we think we have to get everything done sometimes we forget to make time for the couch (or the meditation pillow, or whatever space quiets you). When we do that we forget about all of the amazing simple pleasures that as a human we get to experience. The couch is allowing my intuition the time to get really clear, my body to FEEL really clear, and I am completely satisfied and grateful for exactly where I am in this moment of time... I hope the same for you. Take time to connect with family and friends just being together. Listen, really listen to those around you without trying to fix or correct them, and offer yourself the same gift. Be where you are. Be grateful for what is right in front of you, and learn from the gifts and the challenges you have given yourself. We are all moving toward the same destination and no matter what we choose we will get there... The question is will you enjoy the ride? I for one say absofreakinlutely!!

Moving through it...

2011-07-06T05:22:00.000-07:00

One of my morning rituals / practices is to process my dreams and pay attention to the first thought of the day. Today's thoughts were about my ex. They were angry thoughts, thoughts about his betrayal, his untruths to me, and my lack of listening to my own intuition about what was happening... My dream was about a moment in our relationship that I failed to see... In my dream we are standing in our (what I thought was ours) driveway and he kisses me. It started out feeling tender but then his tongue was that of a snakes, split...

In my dream interpretation I remember moments like in our relationship that when I felt his words did match his actions. This happens for most of us at one time or another in our lives. We are human, we make mistakes, we sometimes don't have the hudtspa to be totally honest... hopefully we learn and make better choices the next time. Anyway, back to the dream... As I processed and really felt the emotions that I had attached to the information I recognized that today will be a day of letting go completely. Because the dream and my morning thoughts "matched" I know that this is a thought / feeling pattern which does not serve me. In order for me to not put out that negative vibration of anger, today will be a day of mantras to bring me back to neutral so that I don't create this same lesson again in the future.

My mantra today will be I forgive you and I forgive me for getting stuck in the process of change and for not being able to "see" each other clearly. Every time I start to think about the "facts" of our relationship I will remind myself of the mantra. May I continue to learn from my life experiences so that when I encounter this type of energy again I will be aware. Not judging just aware of myself and the choices I make to either engage or not. To see it and be able to say " no thank you, that doesn't work for me" without any attachment to good or bad, right or wrong.

Continuing to work on my own stuff is my promise to the world. As I get clearer and clearer I put that energy out into the world which in turn makes it easier for others, since in my world we are all one!

I dream of a love

2011-07-05T05:22:00.000-07:00

One can't create something that they don't ask for or dream of, so I spent some time in quiet contemplation and here is what I came up with...

I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. Of being seen, of trusting another with all of me. With feeling as if I can share all of my thoughts feelings dreams and desires. Someone to be silly with. Giggling turning into deep intense belly laughs, witnessing the energy move between us and fall gently to the floor like a silk bathrobe. Being able to be physical and spiritual at the same time. The ingredients of our love will include integrity, spirituality, wondering and playing with thoughts and ideas to feel what is truth for us, together and individually; a strong physical connection that is playful and passionate and gets better and better as we explore each others every curve, and kiss each others battle scars; a knowing, deep knowing that our words match our actions, that our love will bridge lifetimes, that we are one moving through this world in good times and not. That we are in it for the duration, whatever comes our way. That is the love I desire. That is the love I wake up longing for. That is the love I shall give and gratefully receive. That is the love.

May it be so!

Going up

2011-07-02T06:09:00.000-07:00

Up up up... Going up!
Today feels like a day of celebration! Is it because the sun is shining and I am sitting on the patio with the sounds of creation surrounding me? Or the feeling of freedom that is in our collective history (independence day, etc.), or maybe just the fact that I felt like i have come to a turning point in my healing... Whatever it is I am "running" with it! Today is a day of celebration. Through celebration of life and all the blessings seen and unseen I feel as if I can create anything! And that is true independence!! Independence of the self!!! May we all allow that energy to settle into out bones and may we see life as a celebration, wherever we are on our walk!!

Sunshine and moonbeams and rose colored glasses

2011-06-28T07:39:00.000-07:00

5 days out from surgery and I am having dreams of getting up off the couch and walking across the room, opening the door and running in the field under the stars... Then I wake up and feel my heart racing as if I have been running... Now the sun is beckoning me to come play outside and in my minds eye I feel the breeze, smell the trees, and hear the birds in the pond a mile away...

Funny thing the mind... In Chinese medicine the mind rests in the blood. First time I heard that it was an aahaaa moment. So if the mind rests in the blood and the heart circulates the blood and all of our body's nutrients supply the organs through the blood than our hearts and minds are surely one... Of course this thought then brought another thought... And if you haven't guessed it already it was about love...

Love. The one pure energy. Have had conversations about this with many folks lately. Sometimes I think human beings get confused about love. I read a great quote that said romantic love and divine love are one in the same energy. Romantic love sparks the heart so that divine love can rise up... Then I think of all the loves in my life. And I think of those who have shared their perspective on love, with good intention "advising" that i take a look at my thoughts on love because they have the impression that I need to learn the difference (in their mind) of true love and romantic fantasy love...

So here's my thoughts: love, romantic or otherwise is a feeling. We feel it... In our bodies, with our bodies, and into our souls. I do not regret ever loving. I love 100%, heart mind and body. I know not how to separate them. Does love last forever? Maybe... But even if it is fleeting it IS ALWAY WORTH IT. Yes it means sometimes on a human level I may be disappointed or hurt, but the thought of living a life without feeling the deep intimate connection of another seems empty and sad to me.

So as my friend Linda says ya gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince, and I might add, they all are princes... And we all are princesses (or queens, lol). We experience, we give, we receive, we enjoy, we grow, we challenge each other... Sometimes they move on, and sometimes, I believe, it's possible they stay around for the long haul...

Thoughts on abundance

2011-06-19T12:51:00.000-07:00

Illness or accidents often give us the opportunity to slow down and take stock in our life. This has been the case for me... It has also given me the opportunity to watch the law of attraction work pretty much immediately... A few examples; a few days ago I was wishing I had sausage gravy and bisquits from Caspers diner, our local diner that I go to pretty regularly on friday mornings... I was imagining the taste and smell, thinking about the great conversations that happen at the diner, and how Barb only makes sausage gravy on friday mornings.. No joke, withon 5minutes Barb showed up at my door with sausage gravy and a get well card.
Another example; I was wondering how I was going to pay my rent without having an income. Logical wondering for someone who is self employed... Within 24 hours my friend offered me rent in exchange for gift certificates for when I was well, then another friend said she was going to organize a garage sale and all proceeds would go toward paying my rent...
Such validation that what we think we create. I let go, put out what I needed without attachment to how it was going to come and I was plesantly surprised!
Why is it that we worry? This experience is reminding me, totally reinforcing within my cellular structure that worry is wasteful and useless... We are taught that it is good to worry, but I for one will do less and less and less of it so that I can manifest more and more and more of what I truly desire!
Manifest away dear ones! It is totally worth your awareness of words thoughts and deeds!!!

Silence

2011-06-17T07:02:00.000-07:00

Since I last wrote I have had many changes (does that surprise anyone???)... The biggest one was that on Sunday I broke all the bones in my ankle and dislocated it too... Now I am needing pins and plates to stabilize the ankle so that I can walk sometime in the future. Although painful (and let me tell you, it is crazy painful) I am asking for the blessings to be shown to me. There are many but the most apparent one is that I am having to sit in silence. I don't have a television to distract me and I am not really able to concentrate on reading at this time, so I am praying and listening. Wow what you hear when there is no "sound" to distract you. The birds sing to me every day, and I feel as if I can understand their songs. The trees whisper and I sometimes feel as if I am dancing with them in spirit. My breath has become a very large part of my conscious awareness. My breath and my thoughts. And then of course its the thought of "the great whatever"... Whatever.... This is what my reality is right now, this is where I need to be or I wouldn't be here. This is it. What I created for myself to experience silence. To connect to my new surroundings. To be one with "whatever"... And every once in a while I get that little thread of a thought of fear about the upcoming surgery, and I remind myself that "whatever" will be will be. I will heal. Life will continue or not, and it all just doesn't matter. Its good. Its really good. And I am grateful.

One of my Guides has said "its a time of great purification" so I allow for that energy to move me, inside and out. To allow me to really connect to those in my life. To be humbled by the stepping up of family, friends, and community and by the KNOWING that this is just a bump in the road. A time of silence. Just a time of ...

Healing ~ a journey worth taking

2011-06-07T01:46:00.000-07:00

As part of my own healing and journey inward I have been getting up each day around 4am and watching the world come to life. The birds, WOW! The geese on the pond, one lonely honk, then many as if one is the alarm clock...
The sun peeking over the horizon and the trees in sillhoette stretching their arms and doing QiKung with me. The mosquitos need to remember their place. That's what I keep reminding them. No biting till after QiKung and only if it is absolutly necessary for survival~ please find another hostess. The dogs at my feet hearing new morning sounds too. So much to be grateful for and all of you too! So much gratitude fills me, and soon the black goddess will be ready for my consumption. So as a word, or sentence, or photo, or conversation tries to pull me back into what I have lost, I remind myself of what I have gained. Keeping track of the minds "tricks" of wanting to be suffer, wanting to be the victim, wanting to jump up and down and say what about me... I remind myself again, the mind rests in the blood... The mind is necessary too... But for this moment it will take a back seat until the heart has mended and is strong enough to hold the amazing energy of the intellect!

And so, the day has begun, and I am in Joy! Hoping the same for all of you! Much love!

Getting acclimated

2011-05-31T11:23:00.000-07:00

Amazing how the Universe Works... Within 3 weeks I manifested a new home (which was MADE FOR ME!), new massage space almost renovated and ready for clients, a beautiful country setting for my dogs to run and play, and peace that passes understanding...

I am unpacking with intentionality, and making sure that everything has a place that feels right and fits.

I am continuing to process the death of a dream, a relationship, a family, a business partnership, a large financial investment and a future that seemed pretty set... I feel like I am a strong person and handle life as it comes, but I find myself having memories seep into my thoughts. I continue to state my mantra "I forgive you and I forgive me for getting stuck in the process of change and for not being able to see each other clearly"... Mostly that helps, but at this moment I am still confused. Confused at how someone can go from one day being in love, planning classes together, talking about building onto the property, buying t-shirts for a business ($$$), and co-parenting, to the next day not wanting to be in a relationship and asking me to leave "our" home (which of course he said all the time was ours, but in reality even though I renovated it, it was his) by July. Is there someone else? What changed? How will I be reimbursed for my investment, etc.... Questions that I may never have the answers to. Ahh, the unknown.

The unknown. That really is what life is all about, right? We never really know someone elses heart, Their thoughts, their reality do we? All I can do for myself is to practice not taking it personally, to allow the hurt to be felt so that it can be released, and to be thankful for the lessons.

Moving forward consciously aware of the process and filling my heart with gratitude. It is the only way ... The only way ... the only way....

stuff

2011-05-17T03:57:00.000-07:00

I have handed myself an amazing gift. The gift of learning how to love unconditionally when someone else is unable or unwilling to accept it. Love doesn't have strings. It doesn't keep track. It is an energy that when you learn how to stay in the flow of it can heal all wounds, can make all things bearable, can fill your heart over and over again so that you see your blessings instead of your challenges. I am so grateful ~ for life... for love... and for you!

Transitioning with Love

2011-05-14T07:05:00.000-07:00

I have once again been given the opportunity to practice staying grounded and centered in a time of chaos... My life is changing once again. The partner I have been with for the past 2 years and who I planned a future with is now separating from the dream. Fortunately we are both being kind and trusting the process of transition. I never know what good will come from challenges, but I always trust that it is for my highest good and for the highest good of all concerned. With that said, I am human and I am feeling the separation both physically and emotionally, and I am so grateful that I have tools in my toolbag to help me through it. May all others who experience great change in our upcoming times of world change also have tools and be searching, like me (but in their own way) for the high road always...

Little things

2011-05-10T17:27:00.000-07:00

Like most people I have periods in my life where I am learning and growing more than other times. During my growth periods I find that my mind is often re-thinking over and over and over events and conversations and choices. These thoughts seem to penetrate my conscious mind a lot lately. I have been practicing letting go, bringing my attention back to my breath and staying in the present moment by noticing the beauty in each moment, the gifts that are available to all like air, water, the trees, the crickets, the frogs, and on and on... I know that this is a growth period for me because when I am vibrationally getting ready to change, my mind thinks it will put lots of other thoughts in to my awareness so that I get stuck in the muck and remain prisoner to it. That's what happens to lots of folks (me too sometimes), we get stuck in the muck. Instead of attempting to figure things out I am letting things happen, I am practicing remembering ~ that we are all one. That we are all one does mean that we allow others to harm us or that we accept uncomfortableness in our homes or communities, it means that by standing in my own truth with love in my heart I am able to say No, or That doesn't work for me, or Yes without attachment to the other persons opinions clouding my own.
So when the little things start to be big things, I know that its time to stop, breath and smell the roses so that my heart leads and my mind takes a back seat!

In the end only kindness matters

2011-05-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to the song Hands by Jewel and it brings up so many wonderings for me. I feel like sometimes I get caught in the being of "only kindness matters" and then forget that it doesn't mean that someone can speak to me unkindly, or use words or "jokes" that make me uncomfortable, or bully me because they have not be taught to respect others unless I allow it. If I don't speak up and let someone know that I am not okay with a situation, then how can I expect it to change? People treat us how WE TEACH them to treat us with our response to them. And if we don't stand up when we see someone else being treated unkindly, then we are just as much at fault as the perpetrator of the unkindness. Please Please Please folks, speak ~ with love, with respect, with kindness toward yourself and others. Its the only way we have a chance to make it through the changes that are happening in our world. Words to think about by Jewel:

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear

Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray

And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands
We are God's hands

Resurrection Sunday and I am changed

2011-04-24T05:59:00.001-07:00

Today, Easter, has always been celebrated in my family with church, new clothing, and big family dinner. Yes we talked about Christ and the resurrection but I never really felt it until today.

Late last night Brutus brought me a robin's nest. Still wet with cold mud, empty of eggs, with lots of threads of different grasses, twigs and even a strand of what looks to be dental floss... It felt like an offering to me. I felt like Brutus was trying to tell me something, but I just couldn't hear it with all the other noises around. I went to bed and forgot about it.

This morning I went for a long walk with one of my dearest friends Athena. She belongs to the Greek Orthodox church in Ithaca and she was telling me about midnight services and how Father Tom spoke to her heart and used a lot of metaphor to explain resurrection. It was beautiful to hear the story from Athena. Our hearts were full of love and as she spoke she was animated, humorous and serious all with her greek accent and sprinkling of greek words.

Toward the end of our walk we were so grateful for the birds that had seranaded us the whole hour we were walking and we stopped at what some people would see as "just a swamp". We saw it as beauty! The dry clumps of weeds with water surrounding, the many different greens and a few drops of red from the skunk cabbage beginning to bloom. As we were standing giving thanks a red winged black bird flew past us and landed on an old cattail. I told Athena how many people think of Robins as spring but I always think of the red winged black birds as my sign of approaching spring. I shared with her how Robins are always around, common everyday birds, that were just always present so I didn't really associate anything with them. I basically took them for granted...

Moments after this conversation we came upon a Robin which looked to be dead on the side of the road. We could have chosen to walk on by, but instead we stopped. For some reason I felt connected to this "dead" robin. I can't even explain why... As we stood looking down on this bird I knelt beside her (I say her because the bird felt feminine to me) and scooped her up into my hands and began to unwind her chakras and pray. Within seconds I felt her heart beat and Athena and I saw her open her eyes, look at us, take her last breath and then close her eyes. We felt her last heart beat, saw her chest rise and fall one last time as she released her spirit from the physical body that had been her vehicle here. And as she closed her eyes and I felt her bodyheat transfer to me I was changed.

We carried the Robin home and talked about what we imagined her life to have been and thanked her for the gift she gave us. We did a ceremony (and by the way, how did Brutus know the Robin would need her nest??) to witness this beautiful creatures exit from earth bound beauty into spirit soaring. It was beautiful, the words, the feelings, the community (our small community albeit), the sacredness of life and death.

Today with that Robin I understood and I am changed.

Blessed be, Janet

The Blue Jay leads me into the heart

2011-04-02T09:48:00.000-07:00

Today at our chakra workshop we were going in-depth into the 4th chakra, the heart. The heart chakra has two parts to it, the heart protector (green) and the pure light of the heart itself (pink or gold). I tell you this because my shamanic journey today was, like most of the journey's I take, very profound... Here's how it started:

I was running after, arms outstretched, a bright blue jay. The ground underneath me was a cobblestone street and as I run I am aware of the sound of my shoes (I think wooden shoes) clapping on the ground. As I become distracted by the sound and looking down at the shoes and cobblestone I lose sight of the blue jay. When I look up I am entering an open air market place. On the outside of the market are many vendors with colorful tents, ecclectic music, and celebratory voices and sounds. They are setup up in a circle on the outside edge (heart protector?) of the marketplace. When I arrive in the center I look around me and there are three dancers, dressed in black and wrapped in sheer colorful scarves. They begin to whirl around in circles (staying in one place) and their eyes are "glued" on me which seems to me to be their focal point to remain standing and not lose their balance. As they begin to twirl their scarves dance too and the colors "come off" the scraves and fill the air with a fine mist of color. The 3 dancers begin to sing. The song is Someone's knocking at the door, by Paul McCartney and Wings...

Someone's knockin' at the door
Somebody's ringin' the bell
Someone's knockin' at the door
Somebody's ringin' the bell
Do me a favor,
Open the door and let 'em in(repeat)

And as they are singing I look around me and I notice that the "awnings" of the vendors are rolling up and the sun becomes a spot light that is streaming on me and the dancers get closer and I am whisked into their hands that have formed a "kinds chair" and they are raising me up as if I am in a broadway play. And once they raise me up as high as their arms will allow I look around me and their is a glass staircase and on the edge of the glass staircase is beautiful purple and blue water as far as I can see and as I am taking in the vastness of seeing nothing but water forever and ever I hear "Just jump" and the journey ends and I am back in this physical reality.

So, what is the blue jay saying to me, what do I gleen from this wonderful adventure inward? Many truths and many things that will help me stay connected to my center, my heart, so that I can just jump and trust that the water will take me where I need to go!

Here's your mission should you choose to take it

2011-03-17T18:24:00.000-07:00

I had a very strange dream last night which I shared with others, asking for their interpretation. The dream left me feeling outside my body for quite a long time today. It was one of
"those dreams" that when you close your eyes you still see it, feel it, smell it, and sense it in every cell of your body... Here's my dream in a poem, and since I feel like it is a challenge being offered to me I am calling the poem "Here's your mission should you choose it..." Hope you enjoy!

She takes my hand
The old young woman
I know her, she is
The Mother of us all

She guides me to the ancient ones
gold sarcophagus
resting place of the familiar

Crimson colored sanctuary
filled with illusions of importance
Die and drift along on the
scent of her incense

Chatter subsides
replaced by empty cookies
fortunes scattered and left behind

I feel the weight of her
wishes whispered and I
wonder out loud in my head
Do I have it in me?

The body never lies

2011-03-11T01:41:00.001-08:00

Sometimes you know even if you don't want to know...

Lately I find that my body is talking to me more than usual. I am feeling some challenges, so I am paying attention and asking myself what is this about. I find it so interesting that the mind will rationalize, make excuses, divert attention, label, compartmentalize, and so on but the body just says "this is not comfortable for you so I am going to produce some dis-ease so that you have to look at it". No judgement, just matter-of-fact this doesn't serve you so pay attention...

The dis-ease that I am feeling is something that is not easy for me to pay attention to. I have once again setup a pattern in my life that I have had for many years so now I have to ask myself the tough question... What is this about and how can I heal it.

I feel like I am again a "guest" in someone else's house. Although I live here and the "words" spoken are that this is my home too, the actions on all of our parts is that it is theirs and I am a guest. I feel that my boundaries are not respected and that I am unable to make that clear, even though I have spoken my truth, and have many many times asked for the boundaries to be respected, they are not. Is it that the boundary is unreasonable, or that I am getting the opportunity to stand in my own truth and say this is what I need to feel safe and respected and this is where I need to be in order to remain.

I always know when something is a big, life lesson... My body tells me. It starts gently, a few aches and pains, a bit of stiffness in the joints, a few headaches, and then if I am not paying attention it begins to scream. It is screaming right now, no sleep for me tonight. I will be listening to my body and beginning the exploration of how to create ease for myself and I will be asking for guidance from the angels on what is the highest good for all concerned. If I listen to my mind I will continue to "not see" it, but if I listen to my body, I will learn quickly, because the body never lies...

Traveling companions

2011-03-06T15:44:00.000-08:00

Many of you know personally, or through my constant talking, my Bru dog. And, many of you know, again personally or through word of mouth, that I often spiritually travel (out of body experience, astral traveling, etc) during drumming, meditation, energy work and the like... Some of my travels have been very confusing (kindof like I say to myself what was THAT about) and some of my travels are very clear and informative (when specifically seeking information), and some of my travels are so cool that I just want to stay forever... That's where Bru comes in. He "travels" too! I can always tell when he does because his eyes glaze over and he sucks on his back leg or his tongue "gets stuck" on his paw for sometimes as long as 20 minutes (picture), but the coolest thing that he does is... he sits by my side while I am out of the physical body and if I "go too far" he puts his head in my lap and starts talking (dogishly) to bring me back. For this I am truly grateful!!

Cheers to my traveling companion and bff!!

Journey to the Root of it all

2011-02-26T10:26:00.001-08:00

The drum begins and my breath becomes my being and I am carried to a beautiful early morning on a quiet beach...

The crocodile came to me and she smiled. In her front teeth she was gently holding a golden egg. It felt like HER egg. She seemed quite pleased with herself. Then she turned and headed toward the sea. I watched her enter the water and swim deeper and deeper. Once I could no longer see her she jumped out of the water like a dolphin does ~ head first and was standing on the tip of her tail. I found it humorous that she, an alligator, was appearing to be a dolphin and as soon as I had that thought she became David Cassidy (from the partridge family TV show) and she was walking on water and singing to me.

She sang "Sing, sing a song, sing it loud, sing it strong. Don't worry that its not good enough for anyone else to hear, just sing, sing your song" then she seemed to implode /explode (but it wasn't scary of violent just a change of shape) and she was the snow in a snow globe. And I was holding the snow globe standing in a meadow.

In the meadow I was surrounded by sweet scents of lavender and apples and I began to run across the meadow (like in the old movies when lovers run across a field in slow motion to embrace at the meeting) and then I too (in a poof) changed into energy (like in the movie powder). I then found myself inside the snow globe and once I was aware of being in the snow globe it became the golden egg being ever so gently held in the smiling crocodiles front teeth and I was once again standing on the quiet beach witnessing the crocodiles joy and I knew that I was home.

Initiating The Power (Rhonda Byrne)

2011-02-06T04:26:00.000-08:00

GOOOODDDDD MORNING!!!
I have been listening to a fantastic audio book called "The Power" (which I highly recommend). It is all about the power of Love to create the life you truly desire. One of the tools she offers is that instead of talking about, thinking about, and feeling something that brings you disappointment, frustration or negativity, take 7 minutes everyday and think about everything/everyone you love. Feel how it feels (or would feel) if you had the job you really want, enough money to have everything that would make you happy, etc. Just an "aside" note ~ I have been a very happy person and have already been practicing many of the tools she offers, and I am still really getting alot out of this audio book!

So, I decided that I am going to keep my Love list daily! I am focusing on the new house that I desire up by the pond. Its an A-Frame wood structure. It has a large open living room and kitchen, a bedroom and full bath on the main floor, and a cool stairway up to the master loft. In the master loft there is a full bathroom with a jacuzzi tub large enough for me to lay down in and the room, of course, is shades of purple. In the loft there is a half wall/banister with intricate carvings on the side I can see. And the crystal chandaleer in the center of the livingroom makes very cool kalaidascope sparkles along the wall as the sunshine comes in the glass doors of the livingroom that looks out onto the pond. There is a a deck that goes around the house that I sit on in the morning as I drink my hot jamaican me coffee! There is a full basement that's open for sam to ride his bike in in the winter or his skateboard, and a small bedroom for sleeping. The woodstove keeps everything hot in the winter as do the radiant floor heating!
I can feel it, I love it, I imagine it, now it will come as I continue to imagine and feel it into being.

I offer you this information so that you can make the choice to love or not, to create the world you desire, or to live in the world created by lack. Chooose Love!!

I am!

Dying Consciously (and living consciously too)

2011-01-19T18:16:00.000-08:00

I am training in an energy therapy that is called dying consciously. It has three parts to it: Recapitulation which allows an individual to follow a river of consciousness so that they can without judgement look at their life and release their physical body. Folks during this stage may have symbolic visions or memories of actual events. They get to say all their "I love you's" " I forgive you's" and "I'm sorry's". And if the person is not conscious the family is asked to bring in photo albums, remember stories, and share their memories (since the last faculty to leave us is our hearing).

The second step is a chakra clearing because as a person is remembering their "stuff" energy "bubbles" to the surface of their chakra's. Assisting the energy to leave allows for the chakra to spin full and bright so that when we get to the third step, the death spiral, the life force energy has an easier time disconnecting from the physical reality. Chakra clearing is not new to me, I have been doing this for ten years in my work but its a bit more powerful when the energy coming to the surface is really ready to go!

The third step is the Death Spiral. In order to be able to perform this ritual I needed to experience it, and so I did. The cool thing for me was this: when I was released from my body and my spirit was traveling it took me back to my accident (2001) and since I don't have a clear memory of that event (except for the months and months in a hospital bed afterward), it was interesting to experience and interesting that I went to an event in which I was given a choice to stay here or go and I chose to stay (obviously). What I didn't remember was a tube being inserted into my throat. Actually the first week afterwards I was pretty drugged with Morphine so its quite a blur. Anyway, I ramble... When getting the death spiral done when I remember feeling outside my body and back to the accident I suddenly felt nausea and gagging and I couldn't stop coughing. And the teacher working with me said that moments before I started coughing she felt like something was caught in her throat. Now how cool is that...

So, one other thing that this work allows us silly human creatures to do is to release that which no longer serves us ~ a metaphysical death if you will... That could any life transition whether it be a divorce, job, moving, children going to college, etc. What a gift to be able to release and move on. Without judgement, without guilt, without fear. Just moving on in love and light.

So my dear bloggers, if you are experiencing any kind of life transition or if someone you know is dying, please send them my way. I am honored to offer this as part of my tool bag and hope that it benefits others as much as it has benefited me.

Peace, Janet

Even in my sleep I pray

2011-01-13T04:15:00.000-08:00

Strange dreams last night... What I recall is this: I am in a room with Bella, our chocolate lab puppy, and I am feeling dark. I leave the room, but Bella decides to stay and when I am shutting the door I turn and see her sitting with her back to me. The door shuts and I see blood draining out the space between the door and the floor. I feel panic. So I pray. I send love. I am love, I give love, I receive love, I believe in love, I engage in love, I am always becoming more love.... (that's what I begin to pray in my dream). Then I am awake but asleep, and I feel like my partner sits up, walks toward the door and I see him in the doorway ~ tall dark and walking away. So I say outloud "honey can you get me a drink of water" but instead of the figure in the doorway responding I discover that he is sleeping soundly and has not gotten up at all... The figure disappears and I am left feeling confused ~ awake or asleep? And so I pray. And then I rest.

What this dream means to me is that when in any dark situation prayer turns it into light!!

The new year and our old girl Mucca

2011-01-12T17:16:00.000-08:00

Seems like years since I've posted, but its really only be three weeks...

We have had many changes. As always, the first of the year begins with pulling my tarot cards and doing my Runes for the year. Then, I burn all my past year journals after reading them and giving thanks for the lessons learned. Then I set my intentions for the upcoming years hopes and dreams, and send it all to spirit on the smoke of a bonfire. Once done outside, I take the new energy in. I rearrange my furniture to shake up any stagnant energy, switch all my plants around to see who's happy where, and when that is all done, I sit with a cup of "hot milk tea" and listen.

This year's new year was a little different, though. We had to release our oldest dog (Mucca) from the bondage of her body. She had a week of getting ready, her whole family came to say good bye and thank her for her service and m she passed very easily. Ond our vets (Groton City Animal Hospital) allowed us to usher her onward with drumming, rattling and sage and say goodbye for as long as we needed to.

With that said, tonight I believe Mucca came to play. I had the other two dogs outside for a walk in the dark, and I heard them barking, then I heard 3 dogs barking. I tried to make excuses, our neighbors dogs etc., but when I knew it was 3 dogs barking in the same vacinity of the yard, I ran inside to get my camera. Here is the photo I took...

Cheers to you Mucca, thanks for gracing us with your physical presence for 10 years and now your energetic presence for many many more!!

Peace on Earth goodwill toward...

2010-12-24T07:53:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas Eve my blogging buds...
I have been having many conversations lately pertaining to male/female roles and attitudes in our society. Sooo, since I have been having these conversations I have also been paying attention to my words and my reactions to words. Some of them feel rather "big inside" of me, like when listening to a man talk about female anatomy using slang terms which hold an attachment of "yuck" to me. If you're gonna talk about it, please use the anatomically correct words, instead of those that degrade... When I witness (even from a distance) the degradation of anyone (just lately its been men towards women) if gets my blood boiling, and I need to take a step back, a deep breath and remember "but for the grace of (fill in the blank here) go I. If we can all remember to engage our hearts prior to engaging our mouths we would (hoping here) really live the energy of this season ~ peace on earth GOOD WILL TOWARD ALL!
Blessings on the road of discovery toward your best true self!
~ Janet ~

Tis the season...

2010-12-13T13:41:00.000-08:00

Today I have been pondering the whole idea of giving. I recently witnessed a mother who promised a rather large gift to her child to get the child to make a choice about where he would live. And I heard someone in line saying "He better do xyz when he gets this, etc..." This got me to thinking about the act of giving (and the thought also included "lending"/giving money to family and friends). I have not always given with a free heart. I am guilty of having expectations of good behaviors for gifts ~ promises of "if you do this, you'll get that..."

As a parent I sometimes found it hard to think about my intentions before giving to my kids, and it can be even more difficult when the gift is for a partner or my Mom... But what I found is that if you give from your heart because you know it will make someone happy, then that should be the only expectation you have. And if you give because you think you have to, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment, heartache, anger, and ultimately suffering (for the one receiving too)...

Underneath all this rambling this is what has surfaced... This season I am not buying gifts, I am making things for my dear ones, and offering massage and energy services ~ Because it really is the thought that counts!!!

Sometimes you just gotta say WOW

2010-12-11T09:45:00.000-08:00

Today as Jim, Sam, the dogs and I were outside playing (shoveling off the pond for ice skating, and clearing paths in the snow...) I had an "all of a sudden urge" to take the dogs into the woods. I stopped playing, looked at Jim and as our eyes met we seemed to know what the other was thinking... I told him I was taking the dogs into the woods, he said "yes I know and you will see something for me" and I knew he was correct. Its that feeling when you know something big is about to happen but you just don't know yet what it is... That's the feeling I had as I started on the path to the woods, stopped to ask permission to enter from the Grandmother tree, and headed into the woods. When I was almost to the upper field I "saw" a beam of light (almost like a lightning bolt, but smooth) and it stayed for a long time. When I got to where it had been, I saw a woman in a pinky peach dress and I heard the word magistrate. Puzzling, but I have heard more interesting things so I continued on my way with the dogs...

As I was nearing the end of our walk and descending back toward the house I saw through the woods what looked like three graves, but when I got closer I saw that in this reality they were posts to where the yurt used to be. And standing in the middle of the three "graves" as an old Indian man. He smiled at me, the dogs barked, I turned to call them and turned back and he was gone. It was breathtaking and peaceful and I knew inside of me that the three graves were mine, Jims and Sams and we have been on this land for many lifetimes and we will be here again.

The rest of the story was more private so I'll not share that yet, but it was brilliant and awe-filled and a little overwhelming, but its a gift to see it and feel it before IT is in this physical dimension, and as always, I am grateful and trusting!

So, all I can say to you my lovely bloggers is this: Take a walk in the woods today and expect surprises!! They will come if you invite them!!

Consistency for kids (4 legged and 2 legged)

2010-12-05T17:33:00.000-08:00

So as you may be aware if you have been reading my blog since conception, in the last year and a half I have embarked on new family situation and living situation. With this new situation came another dog, an adolescent child and a new puppy... It has been interesting to say the least. We have really good times and then some really hard times and then we sometimes get to "coast". In this transition I have been focusing on the adolescent child's "behaviors", and forgetting the 4 legged adolescent child... And he has been reminding me lately that he is here, he is feeling pressure, and he needs some help knowing what's ok and what's not.

So, I being the loving mama, called my friend Juanita (who has rescued over 30 dogs in her lifetime, and who has been training dogs for over 20 years). After much discussion with all of us in the household she had some very wise tips about consistency, simplicity and energy (which was very important because sometimes hearing things from an "outsider" ~ someone who is not "in" the family it can be heard, absorbed, and implemented).

We agreed on the word to use to stop the whining, figured out that two times speaking to him was acceptable, and that after two corrections he would be isolated until the whining stopped. Then when he was quiet for a period of time we would let him enter the room again, tell him good boy, but not pay him too much attention. AND IT WORKED! We only needed to have two time outs and he has been a perfect gentleman the entire rest of the evening. No anger, no threats, no frustration, just simple and consistent! What a gift Miss Juanita Sunshine is! A true gift to my heart and my 4 legged kiddos!!

Hoidays

2010-11-27T09:30:00.000-08:00

It amazes me at how so many folks put such pressure on themselves at this time of the year. Example #1:I have a friend who spent 12 hours (really, 12 whole hours) shopping for presents ~ which probably will be used for a total of 12 hours, and then for 12 months they'll have to pay for them... Why? Because it is their belief that if they find the perfect present for all their children and family then they are a "good" person. They can think of themselves as good, giving, caring, thoughtful, and loved. Example #2: One person I know gets so stressed out about the house being "spotless" that they yell and scream and have panic attacks if there is even a speck of dust on the shelves ~ and guess what, no one even cares if their house is spotless. All they want to do is hang out, watch football, have some drinks, and eat (and after a few drinks they can't see anything on the shelves anyway).

As you can see, I have my own issues with the holidays. This is the time of year that I get frustrated. Probably because I refuse to celebrate in the typical socially acceptable way... I choose to not have a tree, not buy gifts, not hang lights, and not run up my credit cards... And because I choose not to, I have a hard time when others who know I don't celebrate get me a gift and then expect one in return. OR is it that I feel guilty for not getting them a gift and it has nothing to do with them at all?? The point is, I am taking this holiday season to not be so stubborn about not celebrating... I will eat drink and be merry, without getting sucked into the gifts and money aspect. I will share friendship and make memories with those I love based on laughter and sillyness. I will not feel guilty when someone gives me a gift ~ I will choose to see it as coming from the goodness of their heart. AND I will practice being gentle with myself as I have suggested to many others!

So, happy holidays! May we all be abundantly blessed in whatever fashion that we desire! Cheers,
Janet

I am the One

2010-11-04T18:29:00.000-07:00

Every other week I gather with a few very wonderful women and we write poetry. It has been an awesome experience for me. I am not educated to write poetry, I do not hold any kind of degree in English literature, but I am fortunate to have been raised by parents who believed the proper use of the vocabulary was imperative, and so we spent many hours learning new words and their meanings. On a side note, I also did this with my children ~ we would take out the dictionary and choose a word, see if we knew the definition and if not we read it, then we used it in a story, then we made up other words that sounded to us to mean the same thing...

So, back to poetry group... I have used poetry as an outlet for thoughts, imaginings, feelings, events, hopes and dreams, etc. for about 5 years ~ started as a way to explore the feelings I had while going through a divorce. I was amazed at what was inside and came out on paper. With prompts (the use of objects, photos, scents, words, magazine articles) I learned to sift through the muck in my mind and have clear concise points of release.

And tonight was no different. As we sat in front of the blazing fire, our prompts were photographs. I chose an Anne Geddes that seemed to jump up and land in my hand. And so I began to receive feelings from the photo. Then I felt like someone was whispering in my ear. So I asked ~ Who Are You? And I heard...

I am the one hidden in the roots, curled around the crevices of earth and wood, sleeping neatly in the spaces in between.
I am the one you laugh with and cry with. The one who holds your hand and covers your eyes to the world hidden beneath the surface.
I am the one that sits and valiantly protects the soft broken places, filling the holes with warm rain mud so the mending can begin.
I am the one gifted with wings to fly away and touch the night of dreams. Connecting our worlds of seen and unseen.
I am the one who came here with you, from birth through growth to death and decay.
and I am the one who remains.

It flowed so quickly and once it was recorded on paper the presence that I had felt whispering over my shoulder said good night. And I am the one who remains...

Attachment

2010-10-27T18:24:00.000-07:00

In the last month of so, I have been learning a lot about attachments. Attachments to things, people, and expected outcomes of events. We all have attachments. I think its part of the human experience. In my world I see it as part of the lesson of earth school, how to practice loving detachment.

Even though this is not always a comfortable lesson, I have been fortunate to be learning this gently... Here's an example of what I mean: I ask for what I want, someone can or cannot respond the way "I want them to", I get disappointed, make excuses of why it should be the way I want it to be, they get frustrated with not being able to give me what I want, and blah blah blah so on and so forth... Now if I had already learned the lesson of loving detachment this event would have been much easier and would have looked more like this: I ask for what I want, the other person responds with "no that won't work for me", I then get to ask the question of "what will work" ~ again remembering the detachment piece ~ and we get to have conversation that makes the situation win win for both parties... Much gentler, right?! It might sound the same on paper, but the energy internally is very different. With the first interaction the heart races, the voices raise, feelings are hurt (you hurt me, blah blah blah), and no one is happy. The second way the heart may still race, but the energy remains grounded, no victim energy displayed, and everyone gets to imagine and create the event that works for them.

Maybe I think too much or over-analyze things (which has been the opinion of me in other relationships in my life), but for me its about figuring out where I am in relation to where I was, and where I am heading in relation to where I am in this given moment. Sounds simple in my head! But the internal landscape for me is always easier than the external one. I navigate well the "scapes" I know, while having to navigate other's "scapes" is always a delicate matter.

So, although I ramble on, it all comes back to attachment. Choose them, release them, move them about, and know that in the end its all an illusion anyway and at some point when its all over we will look backwards in time and get a good chuckle!!

Light and Dark

2010-10-22T19:02:00.000-07:00

Been learning a lot about light and dark, yin and yang, and how everything is "something in relation to something else". This framework can be seen in many ways throughout our life here on this planet... AND we can't have one without the other.

So I post this photo to remind myself (and my blogging buds) about this concept. Light and Dark... No one is all light or all dark. We are a glorious combination of both, and we can choose either or in any situation. That's the gift of free will and life experience...

Until next time ~ Janet

A little chaos please..

2010-10-20T17:02:00.000-07:00

Hello my bloggers... Been quite awhile since last I wrote... Life has been, shall we say, interesting... Growing pains all around in my little world. My partners 11 year old son has started middle school (aarghhh), my partner graduated massage school and got his license, and I have been completing my reflexology certification and trainings in abdominal meridian massage. Along with these events that felt so big (some exciting, some not so) I was still working and sharing the gift of massage and alternative healing work with clients, family and friends....

With all these changes life had become stressful. Spending way too much time doing things that needed to be done, and not enough time just being. My experience was that all the "doings" were creating disconnects for each of us. And when we are not connected in a spiritual energetic way the chaos of life can feel to me like holding onto a "live" wire and not being able to let go. Can you imagine how that would look??? Like one of those cartoons where someone picks up the fire hose and it wildly thrashes about and bangs into things until the water is turned off...

Well that's exactly how I had been feeling. BUT, I am one of the fortunate ones... I have many tools in my bag that I can use to "come back home" internally. To feel grounded in the midst of chaos. And all I keep hearing is "as the world changes, and energy shifts, most people will be going through some kind of chaos." So this little "bump in the road" was a gift ~ A way to experience the shifting and chaos personally so that I am able to support those around me in a loving way when they experience it... So bring it on Universe, but please remember I like my lessons with chocolate!

Missy Maloney, my first lost love

2010-09-06T14:08:00.000-07:00

Today I had a very interesting experience with memory...
This morning Jim got the tractor stuck at the edge of the pond. Someone needed to sit on the tractor while the jeep pulled it out and since I was not comfortable pulling it out, I took the job of sitting on the tractor. As I was sitting on it as I took my foot off the brake to allow it to be pulled backwards it slipped a little forward first. Of course Jim had it all under control and seconds later the tractor was pulled away from the edge of the pond and I was safely off of it. But in that split second where it was slipping a memory slipped in, not just into my mind, but into my body.

The memory was of my best friend, my first love, who died at age 16. Her car went off a bridge and she drowned. Here's the part that was interesting. I had moved away a year before that and we had drifted apart ~ ya' know how it goes. You call alot at first then there are a few visits but then it stops. It stopped because our last visit I was very angry. I was angry because she had moved on with her life and was happy and I had been moved and was not happy. 6 months later she was gone. I didn't go to her funeral. I didn't even cry. I stuffed it...

Today all the emotions that were stuffed came back. It hit me blindsided. I didn't realize I had been holding so much anger and guilt. Anger that she left me (died) and I never got to say sorry. Guilt because I was angry at her for leaving. Lots of feelings that I was not even aware that I was holding.

So, the question I have is this... How many things happen to us on our journey here on this earth that we stuff that later comes out (when the just the right button is pushed) in yucky spewingness (I know, I know, not a word ~ but you know exactly what I am saying). And then the next question is how do we remember this lesson so that when someone else is feeling something that is painful so that we can hold the space of lovingkindness. That's the test. Holding the space of lovingkindness through the "stuff" that is being released, even when we are not aware that we are releasing stuff...

To end this post I say Thank You to my friend Missy Maloney who taught me about love and friendship and death and pain. She will never be forgotten in my heart.

Shamonic Journey with Elizabeth

2010-09-02T17:59:00.000-07:00

She appears as the drum beat begins
the body's syncopation
Eager heart question not
As the eagle sits
on her unharmed arm

Take flight, receive, imagine, believe
Guidance whispered kindly "Stand Firm"
Whipping wind washing
memories of want
as the talons sink deep
into un-pained flesh

Stand firm
Stand firm
Stand firm

2010-08-23T10:03:00.000-07:00

Sweet is the fruit that is planted in love, watered with kindness, warmed by a smiling sun and picked by a grateful hand. Endless shades and possibilities exist for each blossom to grow into. Treat yourself and your life as if it is the most bountiful tree in the orchard.

This to me is a most beautiful sentiment, and I believe it to be 100% true.

If we all could think of ourselves as the most beautiful tree in the orchard we wouldn't fall into the trap of comparison and labels. Comparison to others is a sure way to reduce yourself to the lowest common denominator, and then you create a label (I am...) to really reduce yourself.
I know it can be difficult to remember how special we each are, especially when commercials and advertising are letting us know how good we could be if we only purchased (x,y,z)... Do we really need things or do we want things. Can we survive on less? Will we be viewed as "less" if we HAVE less? I say the less I have the less I need. If I only have to pay $1500 a month to live (mortgage, food, car, etc.) then I only have to work for 40 hours a week... That gives me LOTS of play time, and when I play I create the vibration of joy, and when I am joyful I see myself as the most beautiful tree in the orchard, and when I create that vibration, I call to myself more resources to do what I want to do!

So my question to you today is: How can you live on less so that you can have (internally, in your relationships, in your community, etc.) more?

The acorn that we all are

2010-08-02T12:23:00.001-07:00

This weekend I was in the presence of like minded loving individuals, playing and learning and experiencing Chi!!
While experiencing the question was raised about an acorn and what do you see when you look at the acorn... I see a seed, and potential, and the beginnings of beautiful strong oak tree! Then we were asked to see all those we come in contact with as the acorn and I thought to myself, what a concept, if all of us could do this more than not.

I do it in my practice of bodywork and energy therapy, but once in a great while I get stuck in seeing someone for where they have been and what they have done (to me sometimes, and sometimes to others) and I sit in judgement. So, my pledge to myself is this... to become more aware of when the non-acorn thinking is happening and to pause, take a moment to redirect my thoughts, and to see them as the beautiful strong oak that they are ~ no matter where they are on their path...

Thanks to all those who spent the time talking, working, and pondering about the possibilities of life! Be well!

Under the sea she lives

2010-06-12T11:51:00.000-07:00

This past week has been interesting to say the least... I have learned many many lessons about following my own rules, being okay with letting go of a group of lovely individuals who are not in sync with my vibration, and being non-judgemental about them vs. me, or vice versa... All IS well! We are all free! This was the line of thought that was running through most of my interactions, thoughts and feelings as I sat down to write this morning with two amazing women poets!
Here's one of the poems that came through ~ Enjoy!

Her own rules

Under the sea she lives
diving, swimming, coming up for air
through the thick thoughts of others
whose minds are fertile with the
imagined story of her life.

Under the sea she lives
Sacred dance unseen powers
experienced waters attune to
the internal rhythm of the self.

Under the sea she lives
Upstream the witness revels in the
timely severance of the current
release expected response
bathe, purify and forgive
the unserving patterns of the pack.

Under the sea she lives
Under the sea she lives
Under the sea

~Janet, 6/12/2010

spiritual parenting group

2010-06-09T04:01:00.000-07:00

So dear blog friends, topic today is parenting... This has been in the forefront of my life ~ really in a big way ~ for the past few weeks. I am being given the opportunity to parent again and it is amazing how much energy this takes out of a human being when done in a good and loving way...

As you know, I believe we all do the best we can with what we know, so I wonder if we know better and there is a place to go to learn more, would we be able to collectively shift the energy of our school aged children? I have been processing this thought... Mulling it over you might say... Dreaming about it, reading about, asking for guidance about it, etc. I have also had a number of friends and clients bringing the topic of parenting out into the open for honest conversation.

So many of us have such full lives ~ overflowing at times ~ and it is our parenting, our connection with those young ones in our lives that tends to frustrate and put us "over the edge"... "I've tried everything and nothing works", "I just can't take it anymore", "Wish I could just take a break and breathe" are a few of the sentences other parents have used to describe their frustration and tolerance for teenage behavior. I have had those moments myself recently and I remember feeling that when my kids were teens and tweens.

One of the things that helped me stay grounded and keep me from taking my frustration out on my children as they were teens "trying on different faces" to see which one's fit best was this: A Mom's group. There were a group of us Mom's who got together once a month, did a dish to pass, and openly chatted about our parenting oooppsses and triumphs and then helped each other see another way of handling situations based upon our own experiences. Sometimes the information shared was not helpful for me personally but it was always helpful for someone in the group. We supported each other. We knew each other. We were there as back up daycare, as emergency transports to school events, as people in the community that our children felt safe going to with questions or when they needed help and just couldn't talk to their own parents. It was a safe haven this wonderful group of Mom's. It gave me a connection to other parents and helped me not feel crazy... So many times things seemed so BIG and yet when taken and aired out they were put into perspective and felt manageable.

I would like to take this Mom's group a step further. I would like it to be a parenting group that no one person runs, that all are committed to, and that is based on creating sacred space for parents and positive influence for kids. Sooo, if you or someone you know is interesting in co-creating a space for spiritual (not religious) parenting, please let me know. Would love to hear your thoughts and feelings on the subject. Until next time, may you be filled with love and all your dreams manifest into physical reality!! xo

Reflexology Certification Begins

2010-06-03T17:59:00.000-07:00

Been a few months since I have delved into the books, so I have been guided to begin the process of reflexology certification. The practice of reflexology sheds a fascinating focus to the practitioner on the understanding of human health. The condition of the human foot is a reflection of the status of all the major body systems: skin, musculoskelatal, secretory, nervous, and circulatory. It can offer another way of pain control and stress releif that has been tried throughout centuries. Our health care "system" is re-discovering methods which were applied hundreds of years ago (reflexology) and are now coming "back to life" so to speak...

I have been practicing reflexology since 2004, but have only been incorporating it into sessions. Now, with this new advanced knowledge I will be able to do a whole hour of reflexology. In this program that begins June 13th and ends the end of October, I will form a totally new relationship with feet.

Preparing for this upcoming training has brought lots of attention to my own feet. I recognize how much they do for me ~ and I don't say thank you enough! Soooo, thank you feet, thank you for carrying me through this world, thank you for allowing me to stand upright, thank you for taking a beating with shoes that make you sweat, and shoes that are too tight and shoes that are too high and shoes that are too...

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Shaman Journey to the upper world

2010-05-23T18:10:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was fortunate enough to participate in an introduction to Shamanism with Shaman and teacher Cecile Carson, M.D. In this workshop we got to "dive into" the world of Spirit (also known as non-physical reality or non-ordinary reality). What fun! What joy! Yes, another tool in my carpet bag (as mary poppins says). We were introduced to different ways to journey, different reasons why you would journey, and then got to journey for another in the class... In Journey work there are three "worlds", the upper world, the lower world and the middle world (which is very much like our physical reality world).

With that "tip of the iceberg" information I thought I would share one of my journeys from the weekend... here goes:

This is a journey to the upper world to ask for a spirit helper ~ an entity that will accompany me on my journeys and who I can call upon for help with divine guidance!

I started out expecting to travel to the upper world on smoke from a fire, but as the drum began beating Mucca (my dog) appeared and she had wings (like the dog from the never ending story) and I climbed on her back and we flew into the clouds... When we reached the upper world I had the sensation of being cold in my body and as I opened my eyes there was nothing, empty space, and we continued to fly in the empty space. Then Mucca "spotted" something and landed (in the empty space that seemed to be empty but solid ground). When I climbed off her back Richard Dawson from family feud appeared and he smiled and pointed into the haze which seemed to draw to us a large wheel that turned out to be "the wheel of fortune". Under each "peg" that would be hit to make the "flap flap flap" sound was a seed. And as he turned the wheel and the marker hit the peg a seed would pop off and in very fast motion implant into the nothingness, grow very fast and out of the top of each plant would open and a little person would jump out. So as the little people were being planted and jumping out I was asking "are you my spirit guide" and they would not respond just fade into the haze. After a few turns of the wheel a white seed was planted and as it grew the stem was like morticia's dress (from the Adam's family) only it was white and a beautiful woman was appearing at the top and she was trying to wiggle out of her dress/plant and she finally stopped and looked at me and winked. She was a white lily (I could actually smell lily). She opened her mouth and beautiful music began to stream forth. She was singing but it sounded like the song of a whale and as I was feeling it in my body the drum beat changed and it was time to "come home" to physical reality. So I climbed back onto Mucca's back and descended very quickly and she "deposited me" at my front door and the journey was over...

So much information, lots more than I expected... I connected with a helping spirit (lily), and also was reminded that reality is moving very quickly, and the pegs represented thoughts and as the thoughts are touched they grow and become and some stay planted and others grow and move on. Mucca coming solidified our relationship and when I got home I thanked her for her service and she seemed to know exactly what I was talking about!!

Ahh, what a great weekend it was indeed!

As I Try

2010-05-19T08:59:00.000-07:00

I have a lovely client who is a most amazing poet and writer who shared a poem with me that was written after our first session together. It is a reminder that we all hold "things" within us that we hang onto until we are ready to release. Bodywork / energywork are wonderful tools that can help us human beings let go of that which no longer serves us so that we can become the person we came here to be ~ our authentic self!

Because this touched my heart so that I asked if I could share it. Now a few years later I am sharing it. This is not my story, but I am honored to be holding space with/ for/ and around this beautiful human being who is a light to many! ~~~

As I try to find my higher power
I hear the masseuse ask if I was
ever hit in the head.

"you mean was I beaten as a child?"

No, no (visibly disconcerted) I mean, were you ever in an accident, did you ever have a head injury?

I want to tell her that I just left my wife
of 29 years, or explain the chronic, odd
dyslexic challenges I have recently
discovered, thinking these seemingly once
precious facts about me might answer her
question, but all of it seems to ruin
the aromatic lavender vapor that is deep
in my sinus-even my question about beatings
seems flightless and threatens the inner calm
she has just helped me reach.

I notice that her face is angelic-it is a face you
could swim in on a warm day in Belize-all fresh
and unused just like the pictures in National Geographic.

and your throat and the area around the heart seems constricted, like you want to say something and can’t get it out.

I think about my stifled inner child and my constant need
to express myself with words
and wonder how on earth
my body, in such a relaxed state
could betray me this way.

I want to tell her that I am trying to find my Higher
Power and then she gives the final report; the middle meridian (the pelvis area) and everything below doesn’t have much energy flowing through it.

you seem to be disconnected from your source power which flows from your feet up into the body, (she gestures generously and with love) and adds; but that is probably a factor of all that lower back pain

and I think, no,
that’s not the only reason.

My boys

2010-05-05T14:03:00.000-07:00

Quite a few months ago (almost 10) I posted that "I am surrounded by male energy" and it was interesting how much I needed to "girly up" my surroundings so that I could remain grounded in my new home. Since then lots of things have happened... We have a female iguana and more delicate decor that helps me feel like home. Now that it is summer I find that the male energy that I was so struggling with is energizing me. I get to "be a boy"... playing outside, catching frogs, hanging with the boys, exploring the creek, catching snakes in the garden, and so much more. It isn't that these activities are "just boy" activities but I thought of them as such and so they were without me even being aware of it. With that said, I thought I would post a photo of my boys and share all of their maleness with y'all!

Telling your story

2010-04-18T05:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I attended a fabulous workshop~Don Miguel and Don Jose Ruiz, speaking about the Five agreements. It was so beautiful and reminded me that we are all "Angels in Training". What a beautiful thought, huh. Angels in training! What that says to me is that everything that we do, think, feel, experience, is part of our training. It is necessary. And it will be used to meet the goal of becoming an Earth Angel. All we need to do is WAKE UP. Use the training as a stepping stone to release the past, give thanks for the learning, and see this amazing moment ~ right now ~ as the beginning of the future. And then see this amazing moment ~ right now ~ as the beginning also... And so on.

In our workshop we had the opportunity to release an old story. Don Jose told us a story about how some humans go out into the forest and collect their food, and when they get it home it is rotten, but they put it in their bowl, mix it up and eat it. Then they get very sick. But they wrap up the left overs and put them in their pocket. Later they are hungry so they take out the left overs and eat them ~ again ~ even though they know that it made them sick, but its all they have. And this continues until they learn that they need to gather new food so that they are not poisoning themselves (key word themselves) and that they throw away the left overs... He told it so beautifully and please forgive me if I didn't have it exactly right, but this is the "jist" of it for me... So in our exercise we took some time to think about the stories we tell about ourselves and how they are really only lies given to us from others. And I released the story of the men who have been in my life and who have seen me in a certain way (body image), and I embraced freedom, financial freedom and freedom to see myself (all of myself) beautiful and perfect. Felt wonderful! So I end this with my affirmation of: I am love, I give love, I receive love, I believe in love, I am always becoming love, it is never ending, always flowing, and perfect in every moment! And so are you!!

Blue flame of Spirit

2010-04-15T03:50:00.000-07:00

And she'ssss backkkk...
Been a little while... life has been busy with the arrival of spring. Yard work, "mucking" out the inside~started a raw food diet~and walking in the woods reconnecting to the life around me!

Yesterday I had the privilege of participating in a shamanic journey with my friend Sue. I won't share her experience because its hers, but here is what I experienced.

When doing a journey you begin by setting the intention and asking a question so that spirit can guide you to the answer that is beneficial for your life path. The question we asked was "What is the meaning of the dream (a dream I had which included she and I) and what do we need to do together":

My journey begins with us sitting together around a fire, but not a fire made with wood, it is a fire of red hot rocks and as I remember I can feel the heat on my face and see the reflection in Sue's eyes. As we are connecting across from one another at the fire, we "open a door" in our midsection (looked kindof like a pot bellied stove) and inside there is a blue flame. The blue was very "other worldly" and was not hot like the fire but cool like water. Then we close our doors and I feel like I am a chimney and the blue flame rises up and out of the top of my head (the crown chakra) and dances with Sue's flame which is also rising. We intertwine and become the flame on a hot air balloon. The balloon "takes off" and fly's over many lands. The land below is green and lush and I feel like I smell earth... We float over to a cliff~its very grassy like a meadow~and we "land" the air balloon. We release the flame into our physical bodies which have "been along for the ride" and we open the door in the basket of the air balloon and walk to the edge of the cliff. I feel such peace and connection at this point and I feel myself coming back into my physical body as we witness the water below us. We pay attention to the waves and the life within the water and we are laughing. The drum stops (oh yeah forgot to mention that during a journey the shaman drums~its the vibration of the drum that carries the spirit to the answers of the journey) and I feel myself "land" inside myself. I am smiling. I know I don't need to "Do" anything... I just need to follow spirit and allow the joy within to guide the path that Sue and I are preparing to walk together.

keep your eyes open there's sharks in them there waters

2010-04-01T13:51:00.000-07:00

This week has been, as usual, fabulous! I had one BIG lesson this week and one smaller lesson and boy were they eye openers...
Yesterday, as I was dropping off my daughter at her father's house, she said "Mom, come in, I need you to help me find my brown belt" and since her father was not home I thought it would be fine~ya'know trying not to infringe on his space and all... And it was fine... but when we got into her room she had lots of photo's sitting on her bed and as we were chatting I was looking through them and noticed that there were a number of them that her father had given to her that were of us when we were married and working hard on our future ~ bought land together and planned on when she graduated moving up there, living off the land, and being self-sufficient, with me doing massage, etc... Made me feel so sad. Really sad. All those dreams, and the photos of us working together brought it all right to the forefront. Then I realized that when I thought I was being the good ex-wife and not wanting to go into his (used to be ours) house to infringe, I was really avoiding the feelings of sadness that come for me when I see stuff that used to be ours, which is not anymore, and stuff that was never there, and belongs to someone else (who, by the way is quite perfect for him) placed very comfortably among the old belongings...
Wow, epiphany... The feelings I had at that moment were not nice, like a shark swimming in the water, who could bite hard... Could this be how Jim's ex feels? Could this be why even though she is very much moved on, when she returns to the house where they were building their future and working hard to make plans that she gives me the cold shoulder? Hummmm... Could it be?

Anyway, the other lesson was this... One of my clients shared with me that she made some choices when her child was younger that she HAD to make (or die, ya' know the kind of life choices I mean) and has now had a most loving conversation with her adult child letting him know that she was sorry that her life choices caused him so much pain and that if she could she would take away the pain, but she cant and she is so very sorry... And they are working toward a relationship, and it is hard for her because he sounds so angry (like his father) and what I thought when she left was this... I will never ever say anything negative about Jim's ex to their son. I will hold the space so that when he grows up he will make his own decisions about his mother, and I would hate for her to suffer like my client is suffering. All life choices are up to each individual person and they live the consequences, and it is not up to me to "make" it a certain way, just to hold the space and know that we all the do best we can at all given moments.

Prioroties

2010-03-20T09:24:00.000-07:00

Sure has been awhile... Things have been pretty busy here! Working on a new "healing offering" for clients, seeing clients regularly, being a partner, mother, daughter and friend, and letting the rest of life's "responsibilities" go...
With that said, I have been a bit lax on my housecleaning "duties" which are only duties in my own mind (as I'm sure most of you understand). So this morning I decided to take a 2 hour walk with one of my lovely friends instead of doing the dishes, folding the clothes, or making the beds...
And wouldn't you know it, we get company... And company that I am not always happy about because everytime this "company" shows up she spews yucky energy. I feel it, I see it emminating from her eyes and facial expressions and body language. So today when she walked through my house with her nose in the air and that "look" on her face of disgust I was at first angry... Then I thought to myself (bad word here) you, this is my house, and I CHOOSE to spend time with people who I love and who fill me with joy, rather than have a spotless house that takes up lots of time and with a 10 year old in the house just gets messy again... There, I said it. I don't clean my house as often as I was "taught" was appropriate and necessary. There, I let it go ~ Mom, I don't need this belief anymore. There, its done!
Ahhh, what a relief! Tata for now, gonna go... and not to clean my house!

Memories and dandelions

2010-03-11T07:44:00.000-08:00

Memories, the need to know, why and for who? Me? Does it matter? That is my question today, does it really matter and will it change who I am right now... Will it influence my life positively? Will it help me discover parts of myself that are deeply buried or is it someone elses memory given to me?

I keep hearing the song from Hocus Pocus where Whinny (the eldest witch sister) is trying to recall a spell and her other sisters are singing/chanting to her "Remember, whinny, remember" and I substitute my name: "remember, Janet, remember"... Hummm, still it is not coming. The memory belongs to someone else. I don't even feel attached to it, no cellular memory what so ever of the event that has been revealed to me by another.

I see the world like this: We are all in our own universe that we create, like a bubble from a child's bubble machine, large enough to fit ourselves and all of our life experiences. And then I think of this memory and wonder if I don't have it because it is in someone elses bubble, and did I immerse myself in their bubble and then expell into another, and another, morphing into others universes until I don't have my own bubble per se...

Where is the energy of Janet, not my name but my being ME. Labels and names being put in a neat little box and then up on a shelf or being like a dandelion and having someone else hold it and blow~watching the seeds catch the wind and spread and scatter... pieces of me that I need to call home. Parts that need to come home, looked at, loved, and then melted into the me that is today. Yes, that feels right. Particles floating around the universe coming home to roost. And as I write this I hear the rooster reminding me its morning, another new day, another new beginning another awakening and another chance to be the best me I can be!

Family and Aging

2010-03-09T14:00:00.000-08:00

Family. What a beautiful word and idea... I have been fortunate, I have learned many many MANY lessons from my familial lineage, some things challenging, some things beautiful, all things that I called to myself to help me on my path!

This past week has been full of family. Time with my parents, time with my daughter at college and today time with my son and daughter-in-law. These beautiful human beings are all evolving and becoming and learning just as I am and it is such a gift to be part of the process...

The time with my parents was happy and sad because I know as they age (and they are aging ever so gracefully I might add!) they are nearing the end of their time on this planet in their earthly bodies. Of course they have not slowed down and this I am grateful for and learn from... they swim everyday, volunteer and are active socially in the retirement village that they chose to live in. They chose it because it has three "stages" of living available~independent, assisted living, and nursing care.

Mom and Dad told us kids that "they don't want to be a burden" to us, and they don't want us to "give up" our lives to care for them. Wow, I think to myself. I WANT my children to care for me at the end of my time on this planet. I want to share my thoughts and my wisdom on a daily basis. I want to be able to wake up in the middle of the night with an "aha" moment and share it with them. I want to be share memories with them about their childhood. I want to have them holding my hand if I get scared. And all of these things that I imagine for myself in "old age" I feel like I will be missing this with my parents.

I have chosen to honor their wishes and understand that everyone thinks differently, but I also sometimes feel sad that I will miss those moments of wisdom ~ and talking on the phone just is not the same as physically being connected ~ holding hands, rubbing their feet, etc... With this knowledge I made a commitment to myself: I will travel to see them at least every 6 weeks so that I CAN stay physically connected! I will bring my table and do bodywork, and touch them and love them and share my gifts with them, and they in turn can share their wisdom with me!

And so I rambled on but I leave you with this thought... We are ALL going to age. We are ALL going to have to make choices. We are ALL going to look back on our lives and make peace. And we are ALL going to move on. May you love the life you create and never look back with regret!

Empty Nest

2010-02-28T03:44:00.000-08:00

Been thinking about my kids a lot lately! I always do, but it seems like lately there is a "tug" that is happening often. Yesterday I found an old photo of my kids when they were little and boy oh boy I was instantly right back there ~ taking the picture ~ thinking and feeling how lucky I am!

My children taught me (teach me) so much about life and love and forgiveness and patience and boundaries and acceptance and grace and ... So, as I sit here I know I don't have an "empty nest" but I am feeling the spaces where they are not. The breakfast chatter, the "Mom, can you ..." and "Mom, I gotta tell you something that happened..." and "What would you do Mom" and it is heavy on my heart... Its probably why I had a dream last night that I had a heart attach. It was fascinating~I witnessed it and didn't feel fear, just the thought that I wouldn't be here for my kids. And, when I awoke my ribs and chest hurt and I had that "tug" to hold my children and reassure them that I love them, am SO proud of them, and will always be connected to them!
So, before I close, I urge you to (if you have children) to love them, love yourself, and appreciate the time together!

Water, The Rune of Laguz

2010-02-25T14:35:00.000-08:00

This morning I chose the Rune for "flow", which symbolizes water and all that is associated with the ebb and flow of water... emotions and unseen powers that nourish, shape and connect.

It seemed fitting to me that "flow" jumped into my hand since there is so much snow and it just keeps coming, and as I am outside in the snow, it lands on my nose and melts into water...

This Rune also speaks to the intuitive or lunar side of one's nature, which is also fitting since Sunday is a full moon and much energy is being kneaded, squished, fluffed, pounded, flattened and reshaped~all leading to the full moon and releasing that which no longer serves us. So many folks are sharing with me that they are traveling in dreams~"weird" dreams abound.
Mine have been all about relationships (water), past and present~some have ended and I am saying goodbye and thank you, and some are just beginning and I am learning many things about what I desire in any relationship.

The one theme that seems to be "flowing" through all of my dreams has to do with power~who has it, who wants it, what is it and what is the power of standing in your own authentic being and saying yes or no with passion for YOURSELF! I have graciously received many lessons having to do with power and the what I am reminded by the Rune of water is this... You can stand in your own "knowing" of yourself and your desires, and still be kind and gentle with others. Words and actions that hold the intention of Love, whether they are what someone wants to hear or not, always are received well. Words and actions that are said with the intention to hurt, even if you SAY you don't mean any harm can be felt also. I try to always do a self check before I have a "hard" conversation that has to do with power. If I am feeling "mean" or "ugly" about something (and you all know that feeling~that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach...) I don't share it. I breath and ask myself if I were to be receiving this information how would I be able to "hear it" without reacting to it. Then I wait until I feel peace and calm in my heart before I proceed. And sometimes it takes quite awhile, and sometimes I can do it instantly...

Here is a saying that has helped me many times to call that peaceful feeling into myself:

I bathe myself in generosity, appreciation, praise and gratitude for my fellow beings; reminding myself to always look for self acceptance and enlightened understanding of my life experiences, and to share only that which is filled with light.

Now that I have rambled (what can I say, it is about water and flowing...) I end with sending light to you my blog followers! May the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you, and the pure light within you, guide your way on! xo

What's that buzzing sound?

2010-02-21T12:57:00.000-08:00

Good morning beautiful blog followers! And, what a glorious day it has been!
It all started this morning (after a very interesting evening of dreams and communication with other beings) when Jim shared with me some interesting information. Over the past six months on many occasions he has mentioned a "buzzing" that hears when we are sleeping ~ it wakes him up in the middle of the night... So, last night when it happened he focused and paid attention. What was happening was pretty cool! I was "moaning" and "mummbling" and the buzzing sound was surrounding me. So he listened closer and he said it was like lots of "conversations" (voices) that were creating a buzzing and it appeared to him that we were in conversation. I know that I travel when I sleep and usually I set an intention before I shut down ~ whether it be for me or for someone else ~ and I always "know" in the morning what the answer to my questions are.

After that information was shared I thought to myself... hummm its the syracuse psychic fair today and we should go! So we had breakfast at the Dryden Hotel where Sam met up with some of his friends and was invited to go bowling (boy is he lucky~he almost had to go to the psychic fair with us!). So off we went to syracuse for a few hours of fun! Jim had a reading by Rev. Corbie Mitleid which he said answered MANY of his questions and I had a spirit painting by Sandra Fioramonti and then my palm read by Georgia (Libraservices). Georgia, who generally does 15 - 20 minute readings was so excited by my palm that she ended up doing 45 minutes and didn't charge me extra. She said had lines that she rarely sees and one that she has never seen. All in all she confirmed what I have known for a very long time. I'm special! (hehehe). Really what the reading did for me was validate what I hear when I work and dream and love~that its all energy and that I am an open gateway and information comes and sometimes I share and sometimes I don't. She said my biggest challenge is that this: I practice unconditional love with others, I easily forgive others, I easily love others, and I am very hard on myself. I think this is a truth for many folks that I know, but I have been practicing otherwise. Been doing mantras for gentleness for myself, practicing kundalini yoga and giving myself lots of time to breath!

With all this high frequency energy "buzzing" around here it is sometimes hard to find quiet space inside my head. BUT, I am doing it, I am committed to being kind to myself and know (not believe because knowing and believing are two different things) yes KNOW that I am on the right path, I am always divinely guided and I am always learning ~ and as my friend Rhonda so eloquently stated I am a LERT (Alert!)!!

blogging comments

2010-02-07T16:37:00.000-08:00

So, as you can see there are a few blogs that I follow (pretty regularly I might add) that I have tried to leave comments on and I type up my feelings and choose my identity and hit post comment and my comments disappear... If you, my faithful blog followers, are having these same difficulties~ of course that would mean that you can't post on my blog~ please send me an email so that I try to figure this whole thing out...

janet@fallcreekhealingcenter.com

Love and kisses! Muah!

Avatar, incorporate and assimilate new energy

2010-02-04T03:05:00.000-08:00

Sure has been a while since I last blogged... Its because I saw Avatar last week and have been working at letting the energy settle in my body... If you haven't seen it, I HIGHLY recommend that you do, it is the way of the new world...

So, here's the rest of the story: I wasn't going to see Avatar, had no interest, don't usually like "cartoony" type of movies, and it is a looooonnnngggg movie, but Jim and I had a kid free evening and he had been talking with lots of folks at school who were very moved by it so we decided to go. Five minutes into the movie I began to shake uncontrollably (almost like after my accident when I was in shock ~ that's the best way for me to articulate the feeling). I shook the entire movie and when we got home I felt like I couldn't move or speak. Something happened. I was seeing "trails" when I moved my hands ~ kind of like an acid trip for those folks from the 60's who can understand that experience. Jim and I went to sleep holding each other, both knowing that SOMETHING HAPPENED in that movie.

The next morning we both talked about our experience and it was amazing because we had similar experiences. We both knew that vibrationally we had shifted, and were incorporating new energy which would need some time to assimilate into the "old" energy. And this has been happening. Conversations with others about nature and how nature speaks to us and when we connect to nature we begin to have a different way of being in the world. Conversations about war, rightness or wrongness not withstanding, but feelings about it. There is one place in the movie where the main character (who is emotionally very young and inexperienced in the new world) has to kill another creature. His soon to be partner helps him get out of a dangerous situation and in the end of the skirmish he is "pumped up" and thanks her for being part of the killing... She on the other hand is crying and angry at him because the event was unnecessary. The killing was wasteful. He doesn't "get it". He sees the situation from a totally different paradigm.

As the movie progresses, and he becomes "awake" he understands... He sees that the Universe doesn't take sides, just keeps the balance. He begins to have a relationship with the other living beings in the new world (animals, plants, etc.) and death as he has known it is just another way of being and everyone is connected to the past and the future. WOW, what a concept. This has been my reality for quite a long time and I thought I was "weird, but in a good way" ~ like Sara says. Since experiencing Avatar my senses are keener, my heart is more open, the connection to other realms seems to be changing (not sure exactly how yet, but the knowing is there), and I so desire that everyone in this world sees it, and incorporates the new energy into their way of being in the world. Creating Pandora (thats the world or Avatar), one vibration at a time!

Needing the Connection

2010-01-25T18:15:00.000-08:00

Today was supposed to be a very busy work day for me. I was booked from 9am thru 7:30pm. So, this morning when Sam woke up and he was a bit grumpy and tired and said he didn't feel good we said he needed to go to school. He spoke to his father and then later in the morning asked me how I was feeling and if I wasn't feeling well either (maybe trying to get a compadre to commisserate?). Anyway, he wasn't sick ~ no fever, headache, aches or pains, runny nose, watery eyes ~ nothing. Just tired and grumpy. AND I was not about to change MY plans for the day... after all I was booked and he had a weekend filled with friends spending the night (up late) and sledding all day and go go go, which is why he was tired anyway.

Of course, sometimes our stubborn ego's don't win... As Sam was leaving he made it a point to let me know how much he didn't feel good and said he understood that he had to go to school even though he didn't feel good and he wished he could just go back to bed. I was still on that I'M NOT CHANGING MY PLANS theme...

Jim and Sam were at the bottom of the driveway waiting for the bus and I heard "bring him back, bring him back, bring him back..." What don't you understand --- "BRING HIM BACK". What could I do ~ I know that when I hear something I listen even though I may not understand or even really want to soooo I brought him back.

I had to call all my appointments and let them know that I had a sick kid at home and did some juggling with time, etc, and each one of them said what a coincidence it was that I was calling them because they had suddenly had something come up (illness, car issues, wrote the wrong date on the calander, forgot about another appointment at the same time) and they would need to reschedule too! Of course, what else would I expect ~ again, what part of bring him back don't I get?

With all that said, Sam sat and listened to me juggle and reschedule and when I was done he said "wow you had to reschedule a lot for me... (sigh) why did you do it?" and I said what any "Mom" would said "I may not be your Mom, but I love your Dad which means that I love you... and that's what you do when you love someone". This actually got me a half hug and an interesting heart connection that had not been there moments prior.

Sam rested for the morning and then he had energy and HAD to go to the creek. It was fascinating watching him, I could almost see the creek calling to him and he had a physical reaction, like a pulling of his body toward the creek... We just had to go see it. So we did.

We walked the creek, took some photos and a video, noticed all the tree branches, and things floating, the beaver hill in the middle, the way the weeds moved differently than the trees, how different areas had "white caps" and other areas looked almost still... It was awe filled.
Then later on we built a little bonfire by the pond and "roasted" tater tots (can you imagine !!) and he told me stories and we talked about how hundreds of years ago the only thing people worried about was where was their next meal coming from and how could I stay sheltered from the elements. Much more to that conversation but I can't even begin to articulate the imaginings of this beautiful boy.

The day ended and he went to bed, and I got a hug and then a little elbow to the side and that amazing smile that says "thanks for a great day, you're not so bad...".
And ya know what, I would do the entire day again in a heart beat, I can't remember a day so perfect in quite some time and I am going to sleep with more love in my heart than I started with. Kudo's to me for listening! Kudo's to Sam for being Sam, Kudo's for Jim for bringing him back!

Broom fell, company's coming

2010-01-21T03:50:00.001-08:00

Boy it sure has been a while since I have been sharing my life with you. This is because my new website was being worked on and ~ viola ~ it is done!!! I am so happy with the site and all the new things that are happening in my life! Last night someone said to me, "you should write a book, because your life is so not an ordinary life". I was honored that this person who generally appears to be a black and white thinker noticed that being different was kindof cool... Did our conversation inspire her? I sure hope so!

There, now on to the company's coming... If you have been reading my blog then you know the story of Elizabeth. Well last week a friend and I had breakfast together and she told me an amazing "WOW" story. She said that my blog popped up on her phone to the entry about Elizabeth. She said she had never been to my blog, so it was strange how it just "appeared". Then she asked me if I was aware of who Elizabeth is... I chatted about how I feel that she is part of who I have been in the past and that we are very connected energetically. Then I described what she looks like to me, and my friend said "Elizabeth is my mother... (she crossed a number of years ago) and she (her mother) came to me and said I needed to tell you who she is because you are "not getting it"". Ooohhh, chills all up and down my spine, hair on my neck standing on end and a deep sigh. How cool is this! And It is not Elizabeth Hartquist, it is Elizabeth's Heart Quest. She is no longer "company" she is family!!!

Since that breakfast I have been seeing Elizabeth everywhere ~ in the mirror when I brush my teeth, in the hallway petting Brutus, standing beside Sam at the dinner table and by the pond looking into the woods. I think she opened a door. A portal if you will to another time (time is a whole nother topic) and I wonder who else will enter into my life. I'll keep y'all posted on that one!!

Thanks for reading and being open to hear "the rest of the story"...

Patterns

2010-01-06T14:18:00.000-08:00

I can remember when I was a little girl and I would be watching my mom knit I would be fascinated with patterns that she created out of one thread (yarn). It is this thought that has motivated me to share what I think and feel about patterns...

Patterns can be found everywhere, they are in our material surroundings, nature, relationships, words, thoughts, writing, behaviors, etc.

Noticing this reality has been wonderful for me. I even noticed when I pour the cream in my coffee and stir there are patterns, and many things influence the pattern... I could do it the same everyday, pour the coffee, dab in the cream, stir ~ and even though I "do it the same" if one little thing is different the pattern changes ~ the size of the cup, the speed of the stirring, the distance of the cream container to the cup when pouring... With this simple realization I am reminded that with other patterns too they can be changed and influenced with small changes... So, when something doesn't feel comfortable for me in my world, I will look for the pattern (behavior, conversations, thoughts, etc.) and even in the noticing it can be just enough to change the pattern...

My thoughts to you today are ~ what are your patterns, do they serve you and others, can you take a moment and notice them and in that noticing change and reshape the pattern!

Elizabeth Hartquest

2009-12-30T18:44:00.000-08:00

Elizabeth now has a last name... Hartquest...

Tonight at dinner, Jim's parents were here to celebrate his mother's birthday. Her name just happens to be Janet too so sometimes things get a bit confusing when we are both in the same room having conversations... As we began to both answer a question that was being asked of "Janet" someone said, "you should just change your name"... And without hesitation Sam, Jim's 10 year old son said, her name should be Elizabeth ~ which of course struck a chord with my heart ~ and in the next breath he said Elizabeth Hartquest.

Where that came from I am not sure, but Jim and I both knew he was talking about "Elizabeth" who merged with my spirit when we got married in the woods. So, I am now researching this name to see if it feels like truth in my heart. Is this my Elizabeth? My connection to a past life that I get to learn about and discover again. I am excited and can't wait to start my search! Whoohoohoo! Another mystery solved ~ maybe...

First Session at Fall Creek Healing Center

2009-12-29T12:30:00.000-08:00

As the guys were doing the finishing up in the bathroom and trimming out the window and door, I was energetically preparing for my first session in this beautiful new space! As we (me and my client) were doing the intake I felt a cool breeze and out of the corner of my eye I "saw" one of my "ladies" walking up the stairs into the office area, door slightly closed and it was my cue that all was well! The session was amazing (per my clients feedback) and as she was leaving I turned off the CD player and began to leave the room and go into the office. As I went to shut the door to the healing room ~ vrooommmm... CD player turned on LOUDLY! As I walked over to it to turn it off, it shut off and I knew the healing room had been christened ~ FALL CREEK HEALING CENTER ~ Let the Healing Begin!!

Sleep

2009-12-26T22:21:00.000-08:00

Many of my clients tell me they have trouble sleeping. I, on the other hand, have usually slept like a baby, but as life evolves sometimes things change. Since I have been with my partner Jim, my life has drastically changed. It is quite wonderful being in an adult relationship with someone who "gets me". In this wonderful relationship there are also wonderful children and new rules to play the game by. I am patiently learning, but this learning process has now afforded me the gift of many sleepless nights. I had forgotten how having young children in your life is joyful, amazing and really fun most of the time, and during those other times it makes you want to pull your hair out.

Now when the children are "yours" and you have had them since birth and you know the ground rules and everyone is on the same wavelength then those pull your hair out moments are manageable ~ breathing, breathing, breathing... When the child has not been yours since birth and you are blind sided by the rules or are unaware of what exactly the rules are then the hair pulling out times become "oh my gosh, will I be able to keep my cool and not react in a way that will leave this child in therapy for years to come"...

At some point in the new adult/child relationship the playing field needs to be explored. the child tests and pushes to see "who's in charge" and those times are usually pretty easy for me, then its about setting clear boundaries ~ that wont work for me ~ and allowing the natural consequences of the behavior to warrant the changing of that behavior (ie. comfortable for everyone or leave the room until it can be comfortable for everyone in the community space). But when you don't see "it" coming and you have no idea what set off the behavior then it gets to be the hairy times and then I tend to retreat so that I don't regret anything for the future.

Now comes the part about sleep... The days that I don't really understand what has happened in the child's mind to create the unkind responses are the nights that I lay awake pondering... What if (blah blah blah). So tonight I ramble but out of the ramblings I find that an answer has risen to the surface. It is not about this day. Its about seeing it differently, believing it can be different and trusting the Universe to bring to me that vibration of difference. There, it is done and now I can lovingly release this day, and drift into dreamfilled sleep knowing that tomorrow will take care of itself!

long distance healing

2009-12-23T14:15:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had a most wonderful adventure, didn't feel so good while it was happening, but as I stayed present with what was happening in my body, it did end up being a very cool adventure...

I have a dear friend who has been ill for a few months. She has been tested for A,B,C and D and nothing has been identified, and yet she still has tremendous pain. I knew she was admitted to the hospital, through information from another connection that we share. I energetically put her on my table a few times throughout the day. At one point I couldn't "feel" her presence any longer and, because I am human, had a touch of fear run through my heart...

Later in the evening I spoke with her on the phone. I relayed what had happened and told her that I was "holding her feet" ~ energetically of course... She thanked me and shared some updated information and some more testing that was going to be happening today. I wished her well, sent her love, and ended the phone call. Within about a half hour, I began to feel this very strange pain in my mid section, and my arms and legs felt like lead. I sat down and began breathing and checking in with my body. As the pain increased I began to feel like I was going to "lose my cookies" and sweat was pouring out of every pore... I asked "what is this" and a few other questions and I began to hear a leaking sound, like air from a balloon and I "heard the work" leaking... Then I asked again, what is this and I heard loud and clear APPENDIX. Then just as soon as I processed the information (a few moments) I was "released". The pain was gone immediately, the sweating stopped, and I was "back". I checked in with my friend who is an MD about appendix's and then called my friend in the hospital. She was having more testing today, and I am imagining that she had her appendix out... I'll keep ya'all informed!

Offering space for manifesting

2009-12-20T08:09:00.000-08:00

This morning while skating on the pond with Jim and Sam I kept catching glimpses of movement down by the house - in particular by the new massage space. It was almost like quick flashes of light with different colors "attached". I brought myself "back" to playing and didn't think much more about it until I came in. As I was sitting on the couch in front of the fire (which was yummy!!) taking off my boots and snow pants the flashes returned. To the left of me peeking out from the massage space (the door was partly open) it looked like fireworks... Kind of startled me and Brutus began barking into the "empty" room. Then when I looked away the three ladies from the church were standing in front of me. They began "speaking" very quickly. Some things I didn't catch but one thing I did was this: For the new year they suggested that I create a place for others to learn about and experience manifesting of their dreams. There needs to be a bowl of some sort for full moon and new moon energy. In the full moon bowl will be placed clients wishes for release of things/relationships that no longer serve them. In the new moon bowl will be placed clients desires for what makes their heart sing. I am going to have a space dedicated to this offering. There will be slips of paper for recording these energy manifestations. They will be completely private ~ no one will read them and they will be burned on each of the moons ~ sent to the universe, so that universal law can "work its magic" ... That which is like, unto itself is drawn...

I invite you to come and play, create, and begin the manifestation process! We create the life we have, whether consciously or unconsciously... I choose conscious creation, how 'bout you??

Messages for the New Year

2009-12-15T04:13:00.000-08:00

This past year has been filled with many experiences for me. I had my heart hurt and also found my true love. Inherited a child who spiritually told me he was mine from another time, increased the "ampage" of my energy work, learned much about judgement and perceptions and the difference between my own stuff and others'. Followed my heart and began to hear much more through my hands for clients and family...

So, here's one of the biggest things that I learned~I get very clear messages. I may not understand them, but they have very much come to fruition this past year. Just this Sunday is one of many examples... My partner Jim was leading a sweatlodge. I was supposed to be participating but knew a few days before that I would not be in there. I didn't know why, but I felt it. The day before Jim's son Sam asked me to stay at the house with him instead of doing the sweat. This was a big deal for him to ask to spend time with me, and I was told it was important for the dynamics of our family~so I said yes. Then that morning I shared with Jim that I didn't think that he would be "in the sweat" either. I "saw" two male energies dancing around for the day and ASSUMED that it meant Jim and Sam... He thanked me for the information but was planning on attending (which is one of the fabulous things about our relationship is that we can share without attachment). Once the sweat started and all participants were beginning their journey, Sam got a call from a friend whom he hadn't seen in awhile and this friend asked to come over and play. He came during the sweat and went home before the sweat ended. (Ahhh, the second male energy I was feeling).

Now for the messages I have received through dreams for the coming year:

Someone will approach me to make my blog a book ~ My hearts content.

Someone close to me (can't share the name~sorry) will begin the steps to open a crystal shop.

One of my dear friends will get married (yup~she knows spiritually who she is, it will surprise her family and some of her friends).

I will be teaching and speaking to large groups of people about love (and some other cool stuff).

One of my friends whom isn't expecting it, will find herself with child and will need to make a decision about it.

A woman that I used to be close with will choose her son over her husband because his behavior will overpower her and it will seem easier, she will have a stroke and her son will "take care of her".

A young woman who is close to me will reconnect with a past love ~ not so past ~ and rekindle the flame in a new way.

Fall Creek Healing Center will begin to offer much more than just massage ~ tumors, cancers and other life threatening "dis-ease" will be healed, harmonized and balanced and some will choose to leave, while others stay in a new way.

I will be more a bridge than anything else. Connecting energies of many.

Okay, that's it for now... Much more to follow...

Also, I will be playing with more psychic energy so if you are interested in being a playmate, let me know. Want to do more distance healing along with readings...

Yeehaw 2010!!

Kundalini Yoga and the lion king

2009-12-10T18:35:00.000-08:00

Tonight's kundalini yoga class was focused on the heart~opening, clearing, projecting heart energy. So often during stressfilled times (like holidays) our hearts get "bogged down" with hurts, pains, misunderstands, anger, resentments, and anxiety. I remind myself that these are all choices, but sometimes if we use the tools that we have to pay attention to the way we are feeling in our bodies we can "tai chi" away those negative thoughts and feelings and open space for more heart vibrations.

The set tonight was just that, a tool to open space for more heart vibrations. And during the meditation we were asked to hold an intention of a miracle, something that we wished for and would allow the intention of our hearts to help us manifest. I, of course, asked for the sale of the church to be agreed to and final by January 1st. What a great miracle for me and my family and for the new stewards also. It will mark a beginning and an end and a beginning... Like the circle of life!

And with that said, the circle of life makes my mind go to the Lion King (this is just how my wonderful odd mind works...)... Soooo,

hakunaMatata, what a wonderful thing.

Hakuna Matata means no trouble for the rest of your days, its all problem free, philosophy, Hakuna Matata!

Scents for the Season, Aromatherapy classes locally

2009-12-07T17:48:00.000-08:00

A good friend asked me today how I get in the "holiday spirit" and the first thing that came to mind was pine essential oil and a mixture of clove and spikenard. Scents are a simple way to connect to thoughts and feelings, and those memories create physiological feel good responses in the body ~ for me those scents are holiday, family, connections, winter, sleds, ice skating, baking with Mom, making ornaments, stringing lights (and checking each strand to be sure that ALL of them are working~thanks Dad), food coloring the snow banks, and so so much more...

After our conversation about holiday spirit, another friend posted a question on facebook about how to get in the "holiday spirit" and I noted essential oils!

Because of the two "conversations" about holiday spirit and essential oils, I thought about how lots of folks are unfamiliar with essential oils. They don't know how to use them, have no idea that they are medicine (pharmacology is based on essential oils), or that they could learn more from an amazing teacher and essential oil therapist.

With that said, I would like to share a link to an amazing site AND let you know that there will be classes available all summer, locally, in Danby. Please check out the website and see if any of the offerings peek your curiosity.

Here is the website: www.aromahead.com

Have a happy scent filled holiday! xo Janet

Willows

2009-12-06T15:16:00.001-08:00

Many of the visions that come to me are bits and pieces and then they get put together later on down the road... This vision came all at once and it was so profound and deep (like part of my cells were speaking) that I wanted to share...

In my vision Jim, my new husband, and I are dancing in the forest. I am wearing a long flowing white dress with iridescent blue, purple and green hues like dragonfly wings and I am barefoot. Jim is wearing khaki shorts, no shirt and sandals. We twirl gracefully and turn with our backs facing each other and our arms interlocked. We merge and become a willow tree. Our "hair" becomes the branches of the willow and as the wind whispers our hair blows in the wind. As our roots go deeper into the earth in the adjacent field our children "appear" and run toward us (the willow tree). They begin their own dance, one that I don't recognize, but seems very familiar to them. They move around the willow tree and as they go three times around they turn and back into the trunk of the tree. With their backs against the tree they hold hands and begin to sing. It is a song that I hear often, but am unable to duplicate with human voice. It feels as if I am home.

I have recorded this vision in my journal so that when in the future a challenge appears, which since we are all human and don't think inside one another's mind, we know it will, I am able to connect to this vision and remember the gift of this union!

Thanks be to all!!

Fairies at the Met

2009-12-03T13:39:00.000-08:00

Just got home from NYC, spent three days visiting friends and family and while I was there I spent the day at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. AND, what do ya' know the Fairies were speaking to me there too!! Got a fairie book from one of their cool exhibits and it is SO interesting! There are lots more people who have the "gift" (as it was referred to at the MET) and there are lots of books about these magical folks. Since we create our own reality based on what we think/believe, I am in heaven -- fairie heaven! Yeah!

Fairie Homestead has begun

2009-11-29T15:36:00.000-08:00

We collected some cool rocks, gems, and crystals and started our fairie homestead in the woods ~ started with the coolest log that Jim's sister Betsy found while meditating! The tree that came down (which we cut up into logs and shared) was braided with other trees and reminded me of how all things are intertwined. Inside the fairie homestead, which will be located in the hawthorne trees, will be a path and a circle that is created with rocks that we collect from the woods (attuned with Reiki) that will hold the space for healing ceremonies and rituals. Inside the circle we will invite others to sit and participate if they so choose, in ceremonies that the fairies will be our guides. The fairies are so excited (at least that what I heard while meditating and pulling fairie tarot cards). They told me that they will hold and protect all the prayers we leave with them (they are oh so generous)! So I am working on a canister that will sit in their circle, that is filled with sacred tobacco, sage, sweetgrass and ashes from the grandmothers fires. The canister will be adorned with gemstones and other sparklings because they love sparkly beautiful things. I am so excited for this project to get underway and can't wait to invite folks to the first ceremony in the finished homestead! I'll keep you posted!!

Angel Wings and words

2009-11-26T04:12:00.000-08:00

I heard the most profound saying yesterday from a very wise woman... We were discussing some behaviors that we were not comfortable with, totally forgetting the teachings of Abraham which we are both very well versed in, and we both stopped at the same time... It was like a light bulb went on and both recognized that it was not a positive vibration that we were creating... Then she shared a saying that another wise woman had passed on to her...

It was this:

When you talk about someone in a negative way, or say mean negative things to someone, you are taking the wind out of the sails of the Angels who are trying to help them.

This was powerful to me. I know and see and hear Angels all the time. I also know that everyone has guidance and divine energy surrounding and interpenetrating their energetic body. So, this statement reminded me that everyone has a right to be who ever they want to be. Everyone has a right to live how they want to live. And everyone has a right to the consequences of their actions because they are a tool that the Angels use to help us along our path to enlightenment.

Today, if you find yourself engaging in negative conversations about someone else (and because families are together for the holidays it is quite easy to get sucked into old patterns and there is usually one or two members of the family / tribe who don't follow the path that the group feels is right who have the poison directed at them) take a breath, look at them and imagine their Angels standing beside or behind them and say something or think something positive in place of the negative.

May you always add to the hope, joy, and enlightenment of yourself and others, and may your Angels wings always be filled with air!

Fall Creek Healing Center, logo agreed upon

2009-11-24T18:23:00.000-08:00

I am SOOOOO thrilled. I have the best web/graphic designer in this universe! I just know it!

I spent an hour or so today going over how I see things, and sharing my heart, and she captured it and got it to fit into one little logo... Can you just imagine - one image, that when you see it you know it is like when you can't really articulate a feeling, and voila, its right in front of you... I am sooo excited! Thank you Angels for the love of art that was inside my amazing daughter which brought me to Jackie which started our connection which has continued to grow into such respect for each other, both personally and professionally, and we both get to experience the other's craft! What a joy! What a complete vibrational match! Dancing on sunshine right now!

Blue Angels of Abundance

2009-11-21T05:57:00.001-08:00

Went to a fabulous art show last night at Thou Art Gallarage in downtown Groton. It was so nice to see Dee (the artisit extroidinare) and Nance (gallery owner). BEAUTIFUL angels with different messages and all with their own personalities! I was fortunate to acquire the angels of abundance painting. She (they) will hang in my new office space reminding me always of the abundance of the Universe and the power we all have, just by our sheer desire, to create even more! What a great reminder she will be! Thanks Dee!

helping or hindering

2009-11-20T08:08:00.001-08:00

Today is my day to just be. I blocked off the day so that I didn't take any appointments and just allow the Universe to direct my way... It is amazing how my mind works as I putter around the house, doing the chores that always need to be done, and remembering to breathe and pay close attention. Since I am paying close attention (to my thoughts and feelings) I thought I would share some pearls of personal knowledge/experience about kids and our relationship to them (this may also be for some folks information they can use in their love relationships or their relationships with their siblings and parents, and even in a work environment).

So here comes the rambling: My experience about the fine line between helping or hindering another's life (for me this refers to my / Jim's children) has been a re-assessment process for me since I was 20 and had my first beautiful child. As parents we often have an internal struggle with if I don't do (fill in the blank here) __________, then my child will be really be messed up, will hate me forever and everyone around me (my parents, siblings, and friends) will see me as a failure / bad parent. This was (notice I say WAS) one of my tapes that ran continually in my lovely creative imagination. This tape I found made me very controlling of my children's actions and behaviors for quite a long time. It wasn't until my second child was almost 13 and was beginning the age of experimentation, trying on lots of different faces, that I had the epiphany about control... A friend (who just happens to be a counselor) said to me (after a little altercation with Sara and a bad choice she made) "try to remember to use natural consequences, rather than imposing stringent "punishments" that you can't abide by". This was a huge light bulb that went on. I realized that reacting before thinking because of fear of the whatifs really did neither of us any good. I changed the way I thought. Instead of imposing my own consequences, I began looking for the natural consequences like -- because you did not tell the truth I am finding it hard to trust you when you say you are doing (a,b,c,), therefore until I begin to experience more truth from you, you will need to be chaperoned for all outside the home events (ie. football games, movies, getting together with friends, etc.). It took a few times of me retraining myself to think before I responded, but it began to get easier very quickly. My child was no longer confused about why she was being treated in a certain way and I was no longer punishing myself with long consequences that I couldn't stick by.

So, this leads me to my most recent re-assessment because of some trouble my step-son has gotten himself into. He is struggling because there are natural consequences for his actions. He is trying very hard to blame his parents, his x-girlfriend and he is not looking at his own behavior. At first, because he was really struggling his parents didn't know how to respond. Neither one of them wanted to be thought of as a bad parent so they went above and beyond... They allowed their child to speak to them with poison. They took it because they had the tape going round and round (just like I used to). After a few weeks of practicing natural consequences and reminding their child that this was his choice and that he needs to now figure out a way of behaving differently, he began behaving differently (go figure??!).

This has been an interesting process for me because I so remember a time with my eldest which was very similar. And I remember thinking if I don't help him fix this he may not make it... But, what I realized is this: When we think (send out that vibration) that someone is not capable of taking care of themselves we are telling them we don't think they are smart enough, creative enough, resourceful enough, grown up enough (etc) to live their life. We take away the joy (and sometimes suffering) that they need to reach their highest potential. We do them an unjustice, we hinder them because of our own fears.

My suggestion for you (and always for me too) is to ask yourself how you feel. How do I feel about __________ (again you fill in the blank), why do I feel this way, How can I feel differently if the feeling is not pleasant, and what is in the best interest of myself and those involved. Paying attention, although sometimes not the easiest, has always been for me the only way to grow, shift, change, -- easily and effortlessly -- with as little discomfort to myself as possible. This statement may sound "selfish" so some, but to me it is imperative. If I am uncomfortable in my life, then how can I support others to be the most comfortable authentic person that they can be? I choose to help, rather than hinder. How 'bout you?

Fall Creek Healing Center, coming soon

2009-11-18T13:56:00.000-08:00

So, if you have been following my blog, you are aware that my life has once again morphed into more! I am in the process of selling my church and have moved my residence to 525 Lafayette Road. Still in Groton...

Anyway, we are adding an addition onto the house so that I can have my office here. Then in January, My Love will be attending Massage School and then next year we will build a new home out by the pond and use this house as a healing center.

In preparation for the healing center, when I move my office, I will be changing my marketing materials to reflect Fall Creek Healing Center... Janet @ Fall Creek Healing Center.

This is just a "head's up" so that when my business cards and website shift no one panics. Its just a shift, and the space, although different than the church (nothing could compare to that space) will be just as amazing energetically. The window looks out into the most beautiful field and woods and if clients so desire they can take a walk in the woods on the walking paths that lead around the property. The paths are beautifully maintained and there are benches along the way for you to use for meditation or quiet reflection, or just to absorb the information received during a session...

Soooo dear friends. Don't fret, its all good. Service will not be interrupted!

xoxox

Friday the 13th, my new favorite day

2009-11-15T16:35:00.000-08:00

Friday the 13th! My new favorite day! It is the day that my Love and I joined together ready to move forward in this space and time continuum, committed to one another for eternity!

The day was beautiful! We went into the woods with the dogs, my Love and I. Set the space so we could share our vows and journey together...

What I promised to My Love was this:

" I promise to always take good care of myself and be the best me I can be and to always encourage you to do the same I promise to take time every day, no matter what else is happening in our lives, to connect energetically. To fill "the box" with such joyful, blissful memories that even if we are not seeing eye to eye on something I will remember why I love, honor and respect you, (this beautiful light being that you are); and I promise to honor your choices, remembering that you will always honor mine."

(photo by Carol Hill, www.carolsmojo.com)

After exchanging rings, and sharing our vows, Jim led us in a shamanic journey. Didn't take me long to go through the "portal" and begin dancing in the other world energy. As I was dancing with Jim, Elizabeth joined us. The three of us were holding hands and it felt like a game of Maypole. There were beautiful ribbons and I was still in some way connected to the physical world because I could hear the drum and we were dancing to that beat. Then, a huge gust of wind brushed my physical body and Jim left the circle and came back to his physical body and Elizabeth took my hand and the earth seemed to open up to share a stairway into the earth. As Elizabeth and I descended into the cool earth the "ceiling" above us were the roots of the trees and they seemed to "tickle" my head and remind me of what was above. We danced in the underworld for quite sometime, until I was distracted (in the physical world) by the sound of a hawk. I immediately came back to my body. I stood beside myself and gently lay down to connect with the physical world again, and then Elizabeth came and stood beside me and looked at me so lovingly and with such gratitude and she lay down into my body and I heard "And so it is done, we are one". And in that moment I knew I had healed a part of myself that I didn't even know existed.

I can only imagine this union getting more magical and blissful and beautiful as time moves forward.

AND, I now have added to the vows that I shared on Friday because of a suggestion from my dear friend Corbie- "marriage is a 60/60 proposition...each one goes a little more than halfway, and that extra 10% locks it in for the tough times!")

I promise to always give 60% and welcome your 60% so that the extra 10% locks it it for the tough times... HO!

laughter

2009-11-10T03:19:00.000-08:00

Yesterday after school Sam, Jim's 10 year old son, had a friend over after school. It was so fun to watch. When they first came inside after getting off the bus, Brutus greeted them and was introduced, then I came around the corner and Sam, under his breath says "Don't embarress me" and he had this adorable half smile that he wears sometimes when we play. It was so heart warming and endearing. What a joy this boy has brought into my life.

Anyway, as I tried to stay out of their way, I was quietly in the background. When they came in for dinner after playing in the creek and riding scooters, they were so animated. Their stories and laughter filled the kitchen and I could see it filling the house. I just gotta say, there is nothing more fabulous than the sound of laughter, and the sound of laughter from my beautiful boy is one of the best sounds I know! So, if you are feeling not so in the river, figure out a way to laugh or listen to laughter. It is the sound that cures!

She will tell me her story, ahh Elizabeth

2009-11-09T08:12:00.000-08:00

If you have read my post from about four days ago, I told you of a spirit whom I have been contacted by (?) named Elizabeth. Well our dance continues as she wakes my up every night just after midnight, with last night being no exception. Even Bru hears her and gets restless.

Two nights ago I was dreaming but very present in my dream. I heard everything and saw everything and FELT everything - like it was all happening in this reality. In that "dream" Elizabeth was calling me again to come out to the pond. Again I felt a twinge of something like fear - heart racing, curling into a tight ball, sweating, etc... Now I know spirits can't really hurt me, and when I am in my logical mind I tell myself this is unrealistic, Elizabeth doesn't want to hurt me just talk to me... Anyway, in my "dream" I go out to the pond, I sit on the dock, Elizabeth comes up behind me, then pushes me in and I drown. It doesn't hurt and I see her face looking into the water and I am not afraid in the water as I sink to the bottom. I am only afraid when I wake up. When I am in the water I am peaceful. And the rippling designs that I see as I look up into her face are quite beautiful. The water makes her face change and it intrigues me.

Last night she called to me again. This time I woke myself up and said "I will not be afraid". I got out bed, grabbed my drum and went out to the pond (with the dogs-- just in case). My heart was racing and I prayed the whole way for light to surround me and for me to hear what I was supposed to hear. I sat in the field by the pond - couldn't make myself go to the dock - and within a few minutes I was "traveling". Traveling for me while I drum is like feeling the earth below and then feeling my body grow and expand beyond my physical body and I feel sensations of warmth and breezes softly caressing my entire being. It is magical... With that background information out of the way, I'll continue about Elizabeth.

While I was drumming (I had my eyes closed) I felt someone walk in front of me and sit beside me. I didn't open my eyes, just kept drumming. I then heard a whisper of information (which I can't share yet but in time will). Elizabeth was introducing herself to me. She sat with me while I drummed for over an hour. I felt the fear melt into the earth and didn't even realize it had been an hour - my fingers were frozen and I was stiff from sitting in the same position, but I was also so filled with joy, and as began to come back into my body, Mucca (Jim's dog) came and licked my face and Brutus sat behind me. I was surrounded with light beings and we were all one.

I imagine in time, Elizabeth will tell me her whole story and I will share it when she gives permission. Until then, I now know that when she calls to me I will come. And I will listen. And I will drum.

TV, knowing what vibration you are including

2009-11-05T03:47:00.000-08:00

In the last two months I have been inundated with TV. I went from no TV, to a little TV, to lots of TV. Most of the shows that are on are on children's channels, because Sam likes certain programs. As I watch them I am reminded to pay attention to what is being said, and what is not being said but implied. It amazes me all of the "adult humor" that is incorporated into children's shows. Makes me ponder... Is this "societies" way of grooming our future generation? And if it is, what are we grooming them for? Even the cartoons are filled with anger and the thoughts of "all for me, no matter how I get all for me". So, the way I am protecting Jim's lovely child, since he seems to not be able to NOT watch, is this, and please feel free to practice this energy with your family and yourself: Breathing IN imagine energy from the earth coming into your feet and up through your legs, all the way up through your mid section, and out through the top of your head. Then imagine this amazing healing energy (vibration) forming a "fountain" and allow it to cover you with protection so that only positive vibration gets through. Once you have practiced this and feel like you can do it well (and of course "well" is always up to you) then do it and sit next to your child. Imagine the fountain flowing over you and your child! This, for me, seems to help with what is absorbed and what is repelled vibrationally. Energy is real, it can be felt and it influences our moods, thoughts, and actions. I believe that paying attention to energy can be more beneficial than worrying about what you eat... Of course, once again, this is my belief and a belief is only a chronic thought. So, ponder these thoughts and see if they serve you. If they do, keep them. If they don't release them! Whichever you choose, do it with joy!

Elizabeth

2009-11-04T13:26:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I "saw" a woman dressed all in black (black cape and all) standing out by the pond at my new home (which is where my new office will be located mid-December). I felt like she was calling me and I felt a bit of, not really fear, but resistance. Didn't know why, but that was what I felt.

Anyway. I have seen her twice since then so last night I drummed and had a "conversation" with her. She told me her name is Elizabeth and she is mourning the loss of her husband who she saw murdered. She says she is "home". Then, when I shared this with Jim, my love, he said that he has had 2 past life regressions and saw himself murdered in one and his wife witnessing it. He also shared that he was told in a sweat lodge from a woman who channels that the wife from the past life was searching for him in this life and that when she found him he would know it. (He believes that woman to be me).

Then, this morning when I was pulling cards I got letting go (Zen tarot) and it talked about letting go of a home or something that you have identified yourself with so that you can be ready to accept the gift that is being given to you presently. As I was reading this, Elizabeth appeared behind Jim and said "The church hasn't sold becuase you are holding on to it as a safe guard, a what if, and I am here because you are not fully here. I am holding the space but only for a little".

Could this Elizabeth be my spirit from the past? It was quite an epiphany for me when she said that I was holding the church as a safeguard. Which, of course, means now I can let it go and the sale will move foreward quite quickly.

Isn't it amazing what we learn from spirit? Such a gift!!!

The Vortex. Abraham-Hicks

2009-11-03T05:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I watched the Vortex, an Abraham-Hicks DVD. If you haven't seen any of their material I highly recommend it. I have read many of their books, have watched a few videos and practice much of what they teach. This DVD is, by far, the most amazing one to date. It came to me at the most perfect moment and it pulled me out of a space of suffering that I had allowed (and yes ALLOWED) myself to get sucked into. One of the things the DVD did was remind me that our entire life is a choice. All of it. And, when we say we are not happy because of something someone else chooses, and we continue to talk about it, we yes WE alone are responsible for our unhappiness. Gosh what a truth. AND if we can all learn to resonate in that truth (Universal Truth) more than not being there, our world will go into warp speed with co-creation of a joyful, in the vortex, plane of existence.

So, please please please, watch this. I have it if you would like to borrow it, and it comes in book form and books on tape too for those who wish to read or listen instead.

Jump in the vortex today - remember how it is to feel true joy and elation at life!

Time, does it really heal all wounds... only if you allow it

2009-11-01T08:19:00.000-08:00

So interesting as I sit here and look out at the bare trees and am reminded that mother nature is beginning her slumber so that she can awake in spring, fresh beautiful and stronger!

This also makes me wonder if more of us took time to rest and be good to ourselves would we continue the cycles of pain that we have created for ourselves, or would we be able to release and awaken stronger from our patterns of pain?

I have a dear friend whom I have loved for many years and she still holds herself in a pattern of pain from a marriage that ended more than 10 years ago. 10 years of blame and hurt and anger built up inside of her. And she says, but he did (blah blah blah). And, yes it is true, he did hurt her. And I remind her, yes this is true but it is exactly what you have been talking about for a long time and how can you create a different future if you hold yourself in this vibration of pain from an experience that happened many years ago.

With that said, I then look at myself. I question myself and see if there is a place inside that may be holding me in the past, because I know that if I am having this conversation with my dear friend it is also for me to be aware and self examining. So today I take time to ask, examine, release that which no longer serves me, and then rest and I know that this will open the space for the future to be different from the past... stronger, more beautiful and fuller, just like mother nature is doing right now... leaves are gone, rest begins, the leaves which no longer serve a purpose on the trees will cover the earth and serve a different purpose, and all is well!

It's just what I do.

2009-10-27T08:32:00.000-07:00

My friend Corbie (a great psychic and all around super person) asked if I would write an article for her newsletter explaining what I do. I didn't know if I could do that because as most of us are aware, sometimes what we do is just what we do... Its in our blood, and articulating it so that it can be understood by another can sometimes not be so easy (at least for me). So, below is the article - hope you enjoy it!

September 24, 2001 was a day that changed my world. I was in a serious automobile accident that smashed my left side and made it impossible for me to “do for myself”. I spent three months in a hospital bed healing and was unable to “busy” myself with responsibilities (should’s, need to do, expected from me’s). I had to be quiet and LISTEN to my internal voice and the voices of those that may not be seen by the physical eye. That eventful day was my first introduction as an adult to my blue angel, Mary. She “appeared” in my front seat and I heard very clearly... “you’re gonna be hurt, but your gonna be fine”. I was not afraid. I did not see the other car smash into me. I let go. I said to Creator... “take me fast, or let me know why I’m still here” and again Mary said to me... “In time”. Short and sweet. Simple.

During my time of quiet I had a number of “other worldly” experiences. The one that remains with me even today is this: As I was just starting to wake up one morning and I was still in that place between the worlds, I saw what I think of as fairies, like tinkerbell in PeterPan. They were sparkling light that was above hovering above the crown of my head and they looked the same as the sparkles that you see when the sun shines over a new fallen snow. As I was witnessing this energy, it moved inside. To me it was as if I was inside my body traveling through my blood stream to the broken parts, actually being part of the sparkling energy. As that energy filled the injured parts they were suddenly appearing to me to be “fixed” and “whole”. The entire experience gave to me a deep sense of trust. Trust in myself, trust in the Universe, trust in humanities amazing

ability to heal, trust in what I have been shown and the “knowing” that I have, simply put it is really just trust in the process.

I have stood in this energy and lived by it ever since. It has guided me to know what is best for me, and it has been present during good times and challenges, and it has never left me doubting. It is the energy that I connect with when I do my work... It's the energy that I humbly offer to those who wish to heal.

My sound

2009-10-22T17:59:00.000-07:00

Forgive and forget? Sometimes not so easy

2009-10-22T05:41:00.000-07:00

Today my thoughts are about forgiveness. People say "forgive, just get over it" and it sounds so easy... But when you have received the poison energy sent out by others with words and behaviors that are unkind, and sometimes very ugly it is not so easy to just get over it.

I find that many of my friends and clients have suffered deep hurts, deep enough that it tears at the fabric of their being. It overwhelms them and "pops up" at the oddest times. They find that they want to let it go, forgive, but it seems to live in their cells.

How do we as a society move forward in love when we hold such hurt inside? My thoughts are this: Find a way to safely release the energy. Find a place (it may be the woods, or someone's massage table, or the attic of your home) where you can surround yourself with a pure light bubble that allows you to fill it up with the "stuff"... The memories and feelings that have been compressed because it was not acceptable to express them... and then express. When you're done for that moment see the bubble floating out into the universe and the energy being transformed into light. Our Universe has the ability to transform any energy. And with our loving thoughts and prayers we add to that ability through the collective consciousness.

In my life I know I have made mistakes regarding parents, siblings, friends and with my children and my hope is that I will be forgiven. So to expect forgiveness I need to forgive the shortcomings, the clumsiness, the faults of others and myself. This is a practice, it is a prayer, a prayer that is performed through my actions and with the way I live. I hope that I share that with all those who know me. I hope that I am always able to forgive and release the past so that I don't get stuck in the pattern of thinking that is blaming, judging or negative. I am committed to life and love and adding to positive vibrations of the collective consciousness so that others can plug in and benefit too!

The Ladies Welcome the new tenants

2009-10-16T04:44:00.000-07:00

This weekend is the Cortland Psychic Fair at the Ramada Inn in Cortland. Since psychic energy is "on my mind" today I thought I would share that the new "stewards" (tenants, but I like to think of them as stewards of the energy and the vision of love, community, healing, and sharing) have been in communication with at least one of the ladies of the church. Damaris and Eric has been living at the church since October 2nd and have been doing ceremony in the sanctuary to bring their energy there. Yesterday Damaris shared that she (in her consciousness) "saw" a woman in the sanctuary dressed in blue and white. I am SO excited about this. For me it is an affirmation that I listened, asked the "right" folks to come, and now can rest easy that the vision continues! I am so grateful to them for #1 being who they are, #2 taking the chance to move to a new community where they really don't know anyone to also listen to spirit, and #3 that they connect to the earth, the stones (oh boy does Eric have stones!!), and to my heart! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Moments

2009-10-14T11:53:00.000-07:00

I have been paying particular attention to moments lately... The ladies and I have been having "conversations" about life and death and living well and dying well and one of the things that has stayed in my cells is a "conversation" that I had with Lillian... She is the strongest energy that I connect with at the church and she was the first one who contacted me...

Here is what I remember: Lillian "was talking" about her life, like it was happening right then and she said (or I heard?!) "We all have those moments that define and shape who we are and how we are in the world and how we are perceived by others. If we pay attention to ALL moments then we are always alive, and if we pay attention to some moments than we are sometimes alive, and if we don't pay attention to any moments then we are surely dead".

Because of this conversation, I have been (and this is really nothing new for me, but it is just stronger now) paying attention to the moments ... the moments of goodness, the moments of unrest, the moments of joy with my children, the moments of words and sentences spoken just before closing my eyes to journey to the land of dreams, moments of smells and sounds and feelings toward myself and others...

The other thing I have done (and again this is not new) is create an I love _____ box. In this box (and I actually have an I Love box for all of the relationships in my life) I place things that remind me of special moments so that when I am having a difficult moment I can go to the I Love so and so box and see, touch, feel and remember the reasons why they are so wonderful and the moments that we have shared, and immediately - like magic - the difficult moment is gone and it is replaced with an amazing warm fuzzy feeling of love and appreciation!

So, hope today you pay attention to all the moments in your life and take time to be alive rather than just existing.

Ace of Wands

2009-10-13T02:57:00.000-07:00

So as you know if you read my blog or know me personally, I pull cards every morning. Not to tell me what to do, but to ask my Self (not self with a small s) what energy I need to create for me a most wonderful lovely day and how to work with the energy that surrounds me at this moment in time. Today I pulled the Ace of Wands and then the Death card.

The Ace of wands reminds me to create a space just for me. A space to manifest my dreams and to allow the energy of desire to be cultivated and to bubble with energy. This to me was very interesting because yesterday, my friend Eric 12th Moon (a wonderful astrologer if anyone ever needs a reading from a soul that is quite beautiful) reminded me that since I have physically moved into my partners home I need to create space that is just mine... "Change the space" he said -- "paint, move furniture and incorporate things that are yours". This will set the space for you to "be". Then the card comes this morning reminding me of the same thing. Hummm, maybe its time to paint and finish bringing the rest of my "things" from the church to the new residence (and don't worry, I'm still practicing in the church).

After the Ace of Wands I picked the death card. I asked my Self (big S) what energy I would need to be aware of in order to support the Ace of Wands and it was the Death card. Death of the physical body is not a problem for me to grasp and feel comfortable with, although I know many folks who see it differently. We all die a little every moment... with regret, not telling our truth, not loving others when they need it the most, forgetting the true meaning of our existence, not searching for passion, just accepting that this is all there is and maybe there is just no more...

The death of a "goal" is sometimes just as difficult as a physical reality death, because our non-physical reality is just as powerful and we feel it just as much, even if we can't articulate what we are feeling... We just know. My goal of the church is changing. I know that the next stewards are ready to take their place and will create a beautiful amazing community space for healing AND it will not be "mine" perse, even though nothing ever really is "ours" except our thoughts and feelings. My new goal (and I am open to change and to seeing ALL the possibilities along the way) is this: Fall Creek Healing Center. The land here is ready. The energy is being prepared, the work has begun. I'll keep you posted and look forward to seeing you all here in the future! Love Love Love to you!

Abraham, power of our thoughts and FEELINGS

2009-10-10T05:59:00.000-07:00

As you may know, my life has been going through a huge metamorphis... I now have a life partner, and new children (two grown, but still in my heart; one living at home and at a very impressionable age). With all of these changes, which I must say fill me with amazing joy, I am finding that I need to consciously create time for me. This is very different for me... Went from having LOTS of time and space to "do nothing and dream" to having school schedules, bedtimes, and dinner time... And, I must say it feels so right...

Anyway, one of the ways I am supporting myself in this new life is to watch uplifting videos and the most current one is from the Abraham series. If you have never seen any of their stuff check them out on the web. Abraham with Esther and Jerry Hicks. Esther channels energy which has been "labeled" Abraham. Labeled because as human beings we seem to need to define things, rather than just accepting, honoring and allowing... That is their big message - allowing. Allowing abundance, joy, goodness. And with our thoughts, words and feelings we do that, some of us consciously and some of us unconsciously. I have, for the most part, been a conscious "allower". It has always worked for me.

One of the "techniques" that they share is to pay attention to what you talk about. If you desire love, but continually talk about not having love, then your vibrational match is to not have love. If you desire money, but you constantly talk about what you are lacking, then guess what, your vibrational match is - yup, you guessed it - lack. So if you desire things to change in your life you need to pay attention to what you are talking about. What are the conversations that surround you? What do you and your friends discuss when you are together. Your problems and others problems, or dreams and intentions and visions of how you truly want life to be. Do you buy into the reality that is given to you on TV and through society, or do you listen to your heart and follow that still small voice that says "Live, Love, Laugh, Enjoy, Feel, Share, Give, Gracefully receive" and the list could go on and on...

My dream is this... We all choose to LIVE! We all choose to LOVE! We all choose to be AWAKE and AWARE! We all choose to pay attention to HOW WE FEEL WHEN WE CHOOSE... Like the Nike ad says, Just Do It!!

Zen Tatot, The Master

2009-10-03T03:40:00.000-07:00

Good morning to all you early risers! Each day I pick three zen tarot cards to prepare me for the energy of the day. Today I chose the Master first - this card is the main energy and the next two are the energies that will support this one. The two supporting cards were playfulness and creativity.
The Master reminds me to just be. Not to be higher or lower than anyone else, just to be, to know and to hold space for those who wish to participate. This is a great card today because it is the Paint the Town Pink event in our little village. This is a Breast Cancer Awareness event and I will be at Bun Apetite bakery on the deck talking about ways to support those challenged with cancer and those who are holding the space for them.
Lots of times we pray (in whatever way that is for each one of us personally) for the person who actually has the cancer, but we forget the family and friends of that person. This job, the job of supporter, is also very challenging. The supporters present as "strong" and they (many times) are not given the space to just fall apart and express their fear, sadness, and also joy at being able to be the supporter.
Cancer can be an opportunity for families to heal, for individuals to become whole, and for communities to come together without "stuff"... They get to SEE the person, and cancer is the great equalizer - it doesn't choose someone with no money, or someone who has struggled in their life, or someone who has the picture perfect life. It affects everyone.
So, back to the Master... I beleive I chose this card today because I am being reminded that just because I am the "Therapist" it does not make me any more or less than the person challenged with the "dis-ease". We share space, we share love, we hope for the highest good for all involved and sometimes we let go.
My hope for those I meet today is that they follow the path that is right for them to find and become whole!

Death. dying consciously

2009-09-27T05:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had to put Sassy to sleep. She was 10 years old and had cancer throughout her body. She was ready... This was the first time that I experienced this with another person and a child. We spent the morning loving her up and saying thank you for her 10 years of service, I listened to stories of her life and then we said good bye. We took her to Groton Animal Hospital and they were fantastic. They allowed us to do ceremony, burning palasanto (sage), lighting candles, rattling and praying while she very quickly left her body. We all sat together, Jim, Sam, Sassy and I, on a blanket on the floor and began the greiving process...
All day long we cried everytime we saw something of hers. By the evening we started to feel less sadness and this morning we are feeling grateful that she didn't have to suffer any longer and that she was able to cross very peacefully... She will be missed.

Love is in the air

2009-09-25T05:25:00.001-07:00

Wow, since the equinox a few days ago, I have heard from at least three of my friends who have been sending out the rocket of desire to manifest love that they have received that gift back from the Universe!

It is amazing and I am in awe at how many folks are now finding their perfect match, their soul mate if you will, and in very fast time. Seems like the friends (and myself) that I have talked with knew instantly that their mate was long term-- lifers...

Yeah, I am not the only one on the energetic plane of instant manifestation. As our world begins to vibrate and spin faster time is doing the same. And, of course, when its right and you are in the river, time speeds up to produce the exact desire that you send out. Wow, are we lucky to be living in this space.

I hope that all of your dreams come true and that love, whether you have it now or are looking, finds space in your heart today and always! Muah!

Psychic Predictions

2009-09-23T05:16:00.000-07:00

Last night we had an open forum with psychic Cindy Newcomb. For me getting a reading is about validation. I have never considered myself "psychic" but I sure do get "hits" of information for myself, clients and sometimes strangers. One thing that stands out to me about this type of phenomenon is that the psychic gets the information but interpretation is totally up to the person receiving. That's why I don't usually interpret what I hear or see. That's not my job. It is just to report the information (if I hear that I am supposed to share) and allow the person receiving to hear what they hear. So, Cindy, who didn't know a lot about the changes in my life, was again right on. She told me that Jim (my partner) and I had been together for lifetimes and that we were working on creating ... (can't let that out of the bag yet) and that the construction of the new space would be complete within three weeks and oh yeah there will be a sauna /hot tub! All things that I have been consciously manifesting! Yeah for manifesting!

On another note, I just got the new Abraham DVD about being in the vortex. Watching tonight after work and will let you know how it is. If you are interested in borrowing, let me know that too!!

Enjoy your beautiful day!

Life is Good ALWAYS!

2009-09-21T07:19:00.000-07:00

sometimes ya' just gotta say YES! Been going through some changes and had a pre-conceived notion that family would be freakin' out, but they have really surprised me! They are all very supportive! Sara has been coming to my new place of residence every day - having dinners together with the new ones in our life, and really enjoying the conversations.

Speaking of conversations... The most recent one I have been having with myself is this: step-parenting... what a new space for me to be in... I am so seeing what my ex-husband went through with navigating the waters between being a surrogate parent and not over-stepping the boundaries already in place. It is quite interesting and fun and trying sometimes. We all have such differing views of child rearing and I am one to admit I was not perfect as a parent and when I was tired it was easy to just give in and not realize the consequences of the giving in.

Parenting taught me alot about control... Trying to control another person, whether they are your child, somebody elses child, friend or family member -- it just is a waste of energy. The only one that you actually have control over (and sometimes you don't even have this since Universal law just happens to throw curve balls) is yourself. So again I am reminded to drop the control - pay attention to my feelings as they are the navigational tool that has been given to us to keep us on the path of joy - and ride the waves!

This journey is a joy! I am full of gratitude for the visions and experiences that I am taking part in at this point in my life, and I look forward to many many more!

balance of energy

2009-09-19T07:22:00.000-07:00

I have recently been "planted" right in the middle of LOTS of male energy. It is quite impressive that I am able to hold my own feminine energy while still swimming in such testosterone... I understand that women and men both have male and female energy and that within ourselves we balance that energy all the time, but to have so much surrounding me has been quite a test, and I am loving it! Here is a photo of "the boys" taken this morning early before movement was really happening... Quite a lovely feeling!

Nourishment

2009-09-18T11:38:00.000-07:00

Where does your true nourishment lie?

In the past four years I have been given the gift of intense change. I have moved twice and am now moving once again. In this transition I am offered the possibility of learning even more about what truly nourishes my soul. I have trimmed the edges and left go of, given away, many possessions; have re-”thought” many beliefs; have experienced loss of friendships; have worked on many creative ventures; have experienced “empty nest” as my youngest child left for college; and the list could go on...

Here is where my true nourishment lies: love and joy. Its that simple. If you are FEELING (and notice that the word is capitalized...) good because you are experiencing love from self, a partner, children, friends, community, etc., then you are truly nourished. Things don’t nourish. They create diversions so that you don’t have to FEEL. Where you live, what car you drive, what kinds of clothes you wear, what labels you have given yourself or been given - all of these things cannot and do not feel. They are things - things that come and go and serve a purpose. Yes, it is wonderful to live in a place that supports your life purpose, and it is wonderful to drive a car that you FEEL happy about being in on the road, and that you FEEL gratitude that you can be clean, fed, have water, etc... But, when you are in the arms of your lover, or kissing your childs face, or hugging your aging parents, or praying for someone who is suffering then you are truly nourished. And it is because you are connected!

So, be grateful for the things in your life, but be nourished by the love you give and receive every moment! Peace be with you!!!