Sunday, April 18, 2010

Telling your story

Yesterday I attended a fabulous workshop~Don Miguel and Don Jose Ruiz, speaking about the Five agreements. It was so beautiful and reminded me that we are all "Angels in Training". What a beautiful thought, huh. Angels in training! What that says to me is that everything that we do, think, feel, experience, is part of our training. It is necessary. And it will be used to meet the goal of becoming an Earth Angel. All we need to do is WAKE UP. Use the training as a stepping stone to release the past, give thanks for the learning, and see this amazing moment ~ right now ~ as the beginning of the future. And then see this amazing moment ~ right now ~ as the beginning also... And so on.

In our workshop we had the opportunity to release an old story. Don Jose told us a story about how some humans go out into the forest and collect their food, and when they get it home it is rotten, but they put it in their bowl, mix it up and eat it. Then they get very sick. But they wrap up the left overs and put them in their pocket. Later they are hungry so they take out the left overs and eat them ~ again ~ even though they know that it made them sick, but its all they have. And this continues until they learn that they need to gather new food so that they are not poisoning themselves (key word themselves) and that they throw away the left overs... He told it so beautifully and please forgive me if I didn't have it exactly right, but this is the "jist" of it for me... So in our exercise we took some time to think about the stories we tell about ourselves and how they are really only lies given to us from others. And I released the story of the men who have been in my life and who have seen me in a certain way (body image), and I embraced freedom, financial freedom and freedom to see myself (all of myself) beautiful and perfect. Felt wonderful! So I end this with my affirmation of: I am love, I give love, I receive love, I believe in love, I am always becoming love, it is never ending, always flowing, and perfect in every moment! And so are you!!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Blue flame of Spirit

And she'ssss backkkk...
Been a little while... life has been busy with the arrival of spring. Yard work, "mucking" out the inside~started a raw food diet~and walking in the woods reconnecting to the life around me!

Yesterday I had the privilege of participating in a shamanic journey with my friend Sue. I won't share her experience because its hers, but here is what I experienced.

When doing a journey you begin by setting the intention and asking a question so that spirit can guide you to the answer that is beneficial for your life path. The question we asked was "What is the meaning of the dream (a dream I had which included she and I) and what do we need to do together":

My journey begins with us sitting together around a fire, but not a fire made with wood, it is a fire of red hot rocks and as I remember I can feel the heat on my face and see the reflection in Sue's eyes. As we are connecting across from one another at the fire, we "open a door" in our midsection (looked kindof like a pot bellied stove) and inside there is a blue flame. The blue was very "other worldly" and was not hot like the fire but cool like water. Then we close our doors and I feel like I am a chimney and the blue flame rises up and out of the top of my head (the crown chakra) and dances with Sue's flame which is also rising. We intertwine and become the flame on a hot air balloon. The balloon "takes off" and fly's over many lands. The land below is green and lush and I feel like I smell earth... We float over to a cliff~its very grassy like a meadow~and we "land" the air balloon. We release the flame into our physical bodies which have "been along for the ride" and we open the door in the basket of the air balloon and walk to the edge of the cliff. I feel such peace and connection at this point and I feel myself coming back into my physical body as we witness the water below us. We pay attention to the waves and the life within the water and we are laughing. The drum stops (oh yeah forgot to mention that during a journey the shaman drums~its the vibration of the drum that carries the spirit to the answers of the journey) and I feel myself "land" inside myself. I am smiling. I know I don't need to "Do" anything... I just need to follow spirit and allow the joy within to guide the path that Sue and I are preparing to walk together.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

keep your eyes open there's sharks in them there waters

This week has been, as usual, fabulous! I had one BIG lesson this week and one smaller lesson and boy were they eye openers...
Yesterday, as I was dropping off my daughter at her father's house, she said "Mom, come in, I need you to help me find my brown belt" and since her father was not home I thought it would be fine~ya'know trying not to infringe on his space and all... And it was fine... but when we got into her room she had lots of photo's sitting on her bed and as we were chatting I was looking through them and noticed that there were a number of them that her father had given to her that were of us when we were married and working hard on our future ~ bought land together and planned on when she graduated moving up there, living off the land, and being self-sufficient, with me doing massage, etc... Made me feel so sad. Really sad. All those dreams, and the photos of us working together brought it all right to the forefront. Then I realized that when I thought I was being the good ex-wife and not wanting to go into his (used to be ours) house to infringe, I was really avoiding the feelings of sadness that come for me when I see stuff that used to be ours, which is not anymore, and stuff that was never there, and belongs to someone else (who, by the way is quite perfect for him) placed very comfortably among the old belongings...
Wow, epiphany... The feelings I had at that moment were not nice, like a shark swimming in the water, who could bite hard... Could this be how Jim's ex feels? Could this be why even though she is very much moved on, when she returns to the house where they were building their future and working hard to make plans that she gives me the cold shoulder? Hummmm... Could it be?

Anyway, the other lesson was this... One of my clients shared with me that she made some choices when her child was younger that she HAD to make (or die, ya' know the kind of life choices I mean) and has now had a most loving conversation with her adult child letting him know that she was sorry that her life choices caused him so much pain and that if she could she would take away the pain, but she cant and she is so very sorry... And they are working toward a relationship, and it is hard for her because he sounds so angry (like his father) and what I thought when she left was this... I will never ever say anything negative about Jim's ex to their son. I will hold the space so that when he grows up he will make his own decisions about his mother, and I would hate for her to suffer like my client is suffering. All life choices are up to each individual person and they live the consequences, and it is not up to me to "make" it a certain way, just to hold the space and know that we all the do best we can at all given moments.