Saturday, November 27, 2010


It amazes me at how so many folks put such pressure on themselves at this time of the year. Example #1:I have a friend who spent 12 hours (really, 12 whole hours) shopping for presents ~ which probably will be used for a total of 12 hours, and then for 12 months they'll have to pay for them... Why? Because it is their belief that if they find the perfect present for all their children and family then they are a "good" person. They can think of themselves as good, giving, caring, thoughtful, and loved. Example #2: One person I know gets so stressed out about the house being "spotless" that they yell and scream and have panic attacks if there is even a speck of dust on the shelves ~ and guess what, no one even cares if their house is spotless. All they want to do is hang out, watch football, have some drinks, and eat (and after a few drinks they can't see anything on the shelves anyway).

As you can see, I have my own issues with the holidays. This is the time of year that I get frustrated. Probably because I refuse to celebrate in the typical socially acceptable way... I choose to not have a tree, not buy gifts, not hang lights, and not run up my credit cards... And because I choose not to, I have a hard time when others who know I don't celebrate get me a gift and then expect one in return. OR is it that I feel guilty for not getting them a gift and it has nothing to do with them at all?? The point is, I am taking this holiday season to not be so stubborn about not celebrating... I will eat drink and be merry, without getting sucked into the gifts and money aspect. I will share friendship and make memories with those I love based on laughter and sillyness. I will not feel guilty when someone gives me a gift ~ I will choose to see it as coming from the goodness of their heart. AND I will practice being gentle with myself as I have suggested to many others!

So, happy holidays! May we all be abundantly blessed in whatever fashion that we desire! Cheers,

Thursday, November 4, 2010

I am the One

Every other week I gather with a few very wonderful women and we write poetry. It has been an awesome experience for me. I am not educated to write poetry, I do not hold any kind of degree in English literature, but I am fortunate to have been raised by parents who believed the proper use of the vocabulary was imperative, and so we spent many hours learning new words and their meanings. On a side note, I also did this with my children ~ we would take out the dictionary and choose a word, see if we knew the definition and if not we read it, then we used it in a story, then we made up other words that sounded to us to mean the same thing...

So, back to poetry group... I have used poetry as an outlet for thoughts, imaginings, feelings, events, hopes and dreams, etc. for about 5 years ~ started as a way to explore the feelings I had while going through a divorce. I was amazed at what was inside and came out on paper. With prompts (the use of objects, photos, scents, words, magazine articles) I learned to sift through the muck in my mind and have clear concise points of release.

And tonight was no different. As we sat in front of the blazing fire, our prompts were photographs. I chose an Anne Geddes that seemed to jump up and land in my hand. And so I began to receive feelings from the photo. Then I felt like someone was whispering in my ear. So I asked ~ Who Are You? And I heard...

I am the one hidden in the roots, curled around the crevices of earth and wood, sleeping neatly in the spaces in between.
I am the one you laugh with and cry with. The one who holds your hand and covers your eyes to the world hidden beneath the surface.
I am the one that sits and valiantly protects the soft broken places, filling the holes with warm rain mud so the mending can begin.
I am the one gifted with wings to fly away and touch the night of dreams. Connecting our worlds of seen and unseen.
I am the one who came here with you, from birth through growth to death and decay.
and I am the one who remains.

It flowed so quickly and once it was recorded on paper the presence that I had felt whispering over my shoulder said good night. And I am the one who remains...