Monday, January 25, 2010

Needing the Connection

Today was supposed to be a very busy work day for me. I was booked from 9am thru 7:30pm. So, this morning when Sam woke up and he was a bit grumpy and tired and said he didn't feel good we said he needed to go to school. He spoke to his father and then later in the morning asked me how I was feeling and if I wasn't feeling well either (maybe trying to get a compadre to commisserate?). Anyway, he wasn't sick ~ no fever, headache, aches or pains, runny nose, watery eyes ~ nothing. Just tired and grumpy. AND I was not about to change MY plans for the day... after all I was booked and he had a weekend filled with friends spending the night (up late) and sledding all day and go go go, which is why he was tired anyway.

Of course, sometimes our stubborn ego's don't win... As Sam was leaving he made it a point to let me know how much he didn't feel good and said he understood that he had to go to school even though he didn't feel good and he wished he could just go back to bed. I was still on that I'M NOT CHANGING MY PLANS theme...

Jim and Sam were at the bottom of the driveway waiting for the bus and I heard "bring him back, bring him back, bring him back..." What don't you understand --- "BRING HIM BACK". What could I do ~ I know that when I hear something I listen even though I may not understand or even really want to soooo I brought him back.

I had to call all my appointments and let them know that I had a sick kid at home and did some juggling with time, etc, and each one of them said what a coincidence it was that I was calling them because they had suddenly had something come up (illness, car issues, wrote the wrong date on the calander, forgot about another appointment at the same time) and they would need to reschedule too! Of course, what else would I expect ~ again, what part of bring him back don't I get?

With all that said, Sam sat and listened to me juggle and reschedule and when I was done he said "wow you had to reschedule a lot for me... (sigh) why did you do it?" and I said what any "Mom" would said "I may not be your Mom, but I love your Dad which means that I love you... and that's what you do when you love someone". This actually got me a half hug and an interesting heart connection that had not been there moments prior.

Sam rested for the morning and then he had energy and HAD to go to the creek. It was fascinating watching him, I could almost see the creek calling to him and he had a physical reaction, like a pulling of his body toward the creek... We just had to go see it. So we did.

We walked the creek, took some photos and a video, noticed all the tree branches, and things floating, the beaver hill in the middle, the way the weeds moved differently than the trees, how different areas had "white caps" and other areas looked almost still... It was awe filled.
Then later on we built a little bonfire by the pond and "roasted" tater tots (can you imagine !!) and he told me stories and we talked about how hundreds of years ago the only thing people worried about was where was their next meal coming from and how could I stay sheltered from the elements. Much more to that conversation but I can't even begin to articulate the imaginings of this beautiful boy.

The day ended and he went to bed, and I got a hug and then a little elbow to the side and that amazing smile that says "thanks for a great day, you're not so bad...".
And ya know what, I would do the entire day again in a heart beat, I can't remember a day so perfect in quite some time and I am going to sleep with more love in my heart than I started with. Kudo's to me for listening! Kudo's to Sam for being Sam, Kudo's for Jim for bringing him back!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Broom fell, company's coming

Boy it sure has been a while since I have been sharing my life with you. This is because my new website was being worked on and ~ viola ~ it is done!!! I am so happy with the site and all the new things that are happening in my life! Last night someone said to me, "you should write a book, because your life is so not an ordinary life". I was honored that this person who generally appears to be a black and white thinker noticed that being different was kindof cool... Did our conversation inspire her? I sure hope so!

There, now on to the company's coming... If you have been reading my blog then you know the story of Elizabeth. Well last week a friend and I had breakfast together and she told me an amazing "WOW" story. She said that my blog popped up on her phone to the entry about Elizabeth. She said she had never been to my blog, so it was strange how it just "appeared". Then she asked me if I was aware of who Elizabeth is... I chatted about how I feel that she is part of who I have been in the past and that we are very connected energetically. Then I described what she looks like to me, and my friend said "Elizabeth is my mother... (she crossed a number of years ago) and she (her mother) came to me and said I needed to tell you who she is because you are "not getting it"". Ooohhh, chills all up and down my spine, hair on my neck standing on end and a deep sigh. How cool is this! And It is not Elizabeth Hartquist, it is Elizabeth's Heart Quest. She is no longer "company" she is family!!!

Since that breakfast I have been seeing Elizabeth everywhere ~ in the mirror when I brush my teeth, in the hallway petting Brutus, standing beside Sam at the dinner table and by the pond looking into the woods. I think she opened a door. A portal if you will to another time (time is a whole nother topic) and I wonder who else will enter into my life. I'll keep y'all posted on that one!!

Thanks for reading and being open to hear "the rest of the story"...

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


I can remember when I was a little girl and I would be watching my mom knit I would be fascinated with patterns that she created out of one thread (yarn). It is this thought that has motivated me to share what I think and feel about patterns...

Patterns can be found everywhere, they are in our material surroundings, nature, relationships, words, thoughts, writing, behaviors, etc.

Noticing this reality has been wonderful for me. I even noticed when I pour the cream in my coffee and stir there are patterns, and many things influence the pattern... I could do it the same everyday, pour the coffee, dab in the cream, stir ~ and even though I "do it the same" if one little thing is different the pattern changes ~ the size of the cup, the speed of the stirring, the distance of the cream container to the cup when pouring... With this simple realization I am reminded that with other patterns too they can be changed and influenced with small changes... So, when something doesn't feel comfortable for me in my world, I will look for the pattern (behavior, conversations, thoughts, etc.) and even in the noticing it can be just enough to change the pattern...

My thoughts to you today are ~ what are your patterns, do they serve you and others, can you take a moment and notice them and in that noticing change and reshape the pattern!