Monday, December 12, 2011

Happy Holiays

Every year during the holiday season I like to take time to review the year: the joys, challenges, and dreams (realized or not). This year is no different. Many changes in 2011 happened for me, and thus my business. The universe provided me with a blessing in disguise and I moved (self and business) to an amazing little farm house surrounded by 500 acres in “God’s Country” (431 Cobb Street, Groton). I completed my Meridian Massage Certification, and became proficient in Abdominal Meridian Massage which has been a great blessing to many of you.

Due to an accident I was out of work for most of the summer, which gave me much time to reflect and connect to the natural world around me in a much deeper way. When I returned to work I participated in the Cortland Psychic Fair and Holistic Healing Expo which brought much exposure to FCHC and allowed many to experience the benefits of reflexology, Meridian Massage, and Intuition. With client feedback I began offering 2 hour sessions in October.

On the home front, my daughter graduated from SUNY Albany with a Bachelors in Mathematics and plans to gather her resources for 6 months and then head on to do her Masters work. I released a huge dream that was not serving my highest good, and began a new dream! I got to practice forgiveness, gratitude, healing, and became very comfortable with silence and my own company.

My hope for you is that 2011 has been magical and filled with miracles and good health and that the year to come will be even more abundant.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Into the mud I go

Been a few weeks since my last post and as I sit and ponder whats been happening in my life it amazes me. Seems like time is moving so fast. What normally would have been a very long drawn out process of seeing things inside myself, based on the characters I have called to be on the stage and play certain parts in my learning, has been less than 2 months this time. So the question is for me today does the character have the staying power to work through the mud or are they just a player called to be the watering can so the mud can get deeper and deeper leaving only the choice to sink in, get dirty and crawl to the edge to be sundried and baked. Once baked the mud cracks and flakes off and the beautiful soft skin (or person as the case may be) is fresh and pure and ready for the next opportunity... So dear friends that is the question of the day for me... today in the sunshine I will allow the flaking and will have the organic lotion ready for the soft new skin to come!! Blessings on your own journey inward!

Friday, July 29, 2011

Words and feelings

I love words...  I believe they can heal or harm and the choice is always ours...  Words words words.  Many things attached for us human beings.  One word may bring joy or heartache depending upon the intention of the speaker and the perception of the receiver.  I find as I get wiser in age I pay very close attention to how things make me feel.  I allow my body to speak to me.  I feel all conversations and then I use bodywork as a way to release anything that does not serve me.  

Very interesting story...  I have a friend who is a "tough" guy.  Raised in Brooklyn, very tough traumatic childhood...  He was sharing with me just yesterday that in one year he lost his 5 best friends to drugs or violence.  As he was talking I began to cry.  It confused him.  He asked me why I was crying and I shared that his words carried the weight of his suffering.  And i felt it inside my heart.  He didn't quite understand what I was saying.

 I often find that peoples stories affect me.  I am quite empathic and it is the reason why I struggle in large crowds.  I feel people, and when I listen to their stories I feel even more.  It's as if every cell in my body responds to their story.  It is an interesting thing for me.  Its one of the reasons why I love people so.  Everyone wants to feel.  But sometimes, like in the case of my friend, we have a story and we tell it and we are not really connected to it.  We dont feel it.  It's as if just by telling it we can release it... And yes that is important and our words surely help with that...  But if you tell it and don't feel it your cells, which have memory, hold the actual event of suffering.  It's as if our fabulous bodies say, this is big and I am going to protect you from more suffering by holding it until it is safe for you to connect to it both mentally and emotionally.  What a gift... But also the reason for dis-ease... So while you receive bodywork you are processing your lifes struggles and joys and to you I say bravo!  Feel it, release it, thank your body and then ENJOY the gifts that come!!

Many blessings on this day and may your words continue to nourish those around you!

Monday, July 18, 2011

The water element

This morning I watched a most excellent film; the curious case of Benjamin button. It was so beautiful. A memory of human existence backwards in time. The ending made me cry and as I look outside my window it is raining... Amazing how our energy can be so connected to nature. Nature... Natural... Normal... If only we could remember that it takes all the seasons and all energy to create the natural world. We need water and wind and metal and fire and earth... All of them. And they are all connected in the natural world as they are inside of each of us. Our own little cosmos. What we choose to pay attention to gets bigger. So today I will choose to look at my life through the water element. I will allow this precious natural gift that makes up 85% of my internal cosmos to carry any thought, memory, experience that has been challenging to me and wash it down stream so that only the sweetness remains. All experiences have sweetness if we take the time see it. If we recognize that nothing lasts and change is just the river flowing... because in the end we all let go. Letting go while remaining very present to every sensation is one of the gifts that I am very grateful for and may you all find the best way for you to get to that point also. And the sweetness remains the same!! Allow the juices to drip down your chin, sticky your fingers, and fill you up!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

The path of least resistance

As I continue to go inward with my own practices of feeling breathing and wondering I am rewarded with a sense of peace that grounds me, nourishes me, and moves me. As I move forward in life it is interesting to witness the progression of my letting go of the "shoulds" and understanding that the path of least resistance means being in the flow. This was not the belief I was raised with, nor does it seem to be a societal belief. We as a society (here in the us anyway) for the most part are taught that to matter or have value we have to "work our fingers to the bone", have a big house, a nice car, the best of everything... Yes, having stuff is nice but I have been reminded that what we think and feel about our stuff makes a lot of difference to our health. If we believe that it defines us as a human being than we are setting ourselves up for failure. The only thing that is truly ours is our Self. Our internal landscape will always mirror our external landscape. But if we share and are grateful for our stuff it will continue to receive positive energy and things will come to us to make the path of least resistance the norm while still being the guardians of our "stuff"...
If many obstacles appear to slow you down or make something seem unobtainable go inward. Follow your breath and allow the path of least resistance to become the norm for you too! It's a journey worth exploring!!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

No manual or guarantee

As the days blend into on another from my view from the couch I have had lots of time to ponder wonder and play in my mind... A few nights ago I made my first venture out of the house to a womens circle that was very much exactly what I needed. We talked about the four agreements (book by don Miguel Ruiz) and focused on the second one. Take nothing personally. Great reminder for me. Brought me back to the place of remembering that as a human family we all do the best we can and we create our lives exactly how they are with our thoughts and actions and reactions to others actions. This line of thinking brought me to the place of relationships... Everyone enters relationships with hope. We blind ourselves to anothers' for lack of a better word weaknesses. We see only the good. And as time goes on their ( and yours) "ouch places" are revealed. We are not taught as children how to deal with this. So we make excuses, emotionally disengage, or butt our heads against the wall waiting for change. None of these work. The only thing that I believe works is to pay close attention to yourself. To always bring the best you to the table and if it is not serving you to move on. When we are listening to our intuition and we finally realize something is not for our highest good we can then choose how to communicate and move forward. Sometimes it's hard... Matters of the heart are usually the hardest ones... My realization is that there are no guarantees. Promises can be broken. People can do things and say things that feel bad to us, but we are the only ones that think and feel inside ourselves. We can choose how to respond. We can remind ourselves to keep our energy clear so that anthers poison doesn't stick to us and cause holes in our own energy field. And we can pray. Let go of the fairy tale of forever. That's a long time. Appreciate the moments. Release when appropriate and love always. Life goes on and it is good!!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

4 weeks in

Amazing how 4 weeks on a couch can remind you of what matters... I know a number of my clients who have faced cancer and chronic disease have told me the same thing, but hearing it and experiencing it are two very different things. Amazing how quickly the muscles atrophy and the desire to "run a marathon" is so gone...

Now the desire is to have coffee with friends and share our hearts, to experience the sensations in my body so that I can understand when another person describes it the same, to really get a handle on my thought patterns and watch as I do the work to change them, to be gentle with myself, to appreciate the little victories like being able to make coffee and let my dogs out and get myself to the porch to listen to the wind.

When our lives are really busy because we think we have to get everything done sometimes we forget to make time for the couch (or the meditation pillow, or whatever space quiets you). When we do that we forget about all of the amazing simple pleasures that as a human we get to experience. The couch is allowing my intuition the time to get really clear, my body to FEEL really clear, and I am completely satisfied and grateful for exactly where I am in this moment of time... I hope the same for you. Take time to connect with family and friends just being together. Listen, really listen to those around you without trying to fix or correct them, and offer yourself the same gift. Be where you are. Be grateful for what is right in front of you, and learn from the gifts and the challenges you have given yourself. We are all moving toward the same destination and no matter what we choose we will get there... The question is will you enjoy the ride? I for one say absofreakinlutely!!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Moving through it...

One of my morning rituals / practices is to process my dreams and pay attention to the first thought of the day. Today's thoughts were about my ex. They were angry thoughts, thoughts about his betrayal, his untruths to me, and my lack of listening to my own intuition about what was happening... My dream was about a moment in our relationship that I failed to see... In my dream we are standing in our (what I thought was ours) driveway and he kisses me. It started out feeling tender but then his tongue was that of a snakes, split...

In my dream interpretation I remember moments like in our relationship that when I felt his words did match his actions. This happens for most of us at one time or another in our lives. We are human, we make mistakes, we sometimes don't have the hudtspa to be totally honest... hopefully we learn and make better choices the next time. Anyway, back to the dream... As I processed and really felt the emotions that I had attached to the information I recognized that today will be a day of letting go completely. Because the dream and my morning thoughts "matched" I know that this is a thought / feeling pattern which does not serve me. In order for me to not put out that negative vibration of anger, today will be a day of mantras to bring me back to neutral so that I don't create this same lesson again in the future.

My mantra today will be I forgive you and I forgive me for getting stuck in the process of change and for not being able to "see" each other clearly. Every time I start to think about the "facts" of our relationship I will remind myself of the mantra. May I continue to learn from my life experiences so that when I encounter this type of energy again I will be aware. Not judging just aware of myself and the choices I make to either engage or not. To see it and be able to say " no thank you, that doesn't work for me" without any attachment to good or bad, right or wrong.

Continuing to work on my own stuff is my promise to the world. As I get clearer and clearer I put that energy out into the world which in turn makes it easier for others, since in my world we are all one!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I dream of a love

One can't create something that they don't ask for or dream of, so I spent some time in quiet contemplation and here is what I came up with...

I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for.  Of being seen, of trusting another with all of me.  With feeling as if I can share all of my thoughts feelings dreams and desires.  Someone to be silly with.  Giggling turning into deep intense belly laughs, witnessing the energy move between us and fall gently to the floor like a silk bathrobe.  Being able to be physical and spiritual at the same time.  The ingredients of our love will include integrity, spirituality, wondering and playing with thoughts and ideas to feel what is truth for us, together and individually; a strong physical connection that is playful and passionate and gets better and better as we explore each others every curve, and kiss each others battle scars; a knowing, deep knowing that our words match our actions, that our love will bridge lifetimes, that we are one moving through this world in good times and not.  That we are in it for the duration, whatever comes our way.  That is the love I desire.  That is the love I wake up longing for.  That is the love I shall give and gratefully receive.  That is the love.

May it be so!

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Going up

Up up up... Going up!
Today feels like a day of celebration! Is it because the sun is shining and I am sitting on the patio with the sounds of creation surrounding me? Or the feeling of freedom that is in our collective history (independence day, etc.), or maybe just the fact that I felt like i have come to a turning point in my healing... Whatever it is I am "running" with it! Today is a day of celebration. Through celebration of life and all the blessings seen and unseen I feel as if I can create anything! And that is true independence!! Independence of the self!!! May we all allow that energy to settle into out bones and may we see life as a celebration, wherever we are on our walk!!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Sunshine and moonbeams and rose colored glasses

5 days out from surgery and I am having dreams of getting up off the couch and walking across the room, opening the door and running in the field under the stars... Then I wake up and feel my heart racing as if I have been running... Now the sun is beckoning me to come play outside and in my minds eye I feel the breeze, smell the trees, and hear the birds in the pond a mile away...

Funny thing the mind... In Chinese medicine the mind rests in the blood. First time I heard that it was an aahaaa moment. So if the mind rests in the blood and the heart circulates the blood and all of our body's nutrients supply the organs through the blood than our hearts and minds are surely one... Of course this thought then brought another thought... And if you haven't guessed it already it was about love...

Love. The one pure energy. Have had conversations about this with many folks lately. Sometimes I think human beings get confused about love. I read a great quote that said romantic love and divine love are one in the same energy. Romantic love sparks the heart so that divine love can rise up... Then I think of all the loves in my life. And I think of those who have shared their perspective on love, with good intention "advising" that i take a look at my thoughts on love because they have the impression that I need to learn the difference (in their mind) of true love and romantic fantasy love...

So here's my thoughts: love, romantic or otherwise is a feeling. We feel it... In our bodies, with our bodies, and into our souls. I do not regret ever loving. I love 100%, heart mind and body. I know not how to separate them. Does love last forever? Maybe... But even if it is fleeting it IS ALWAY WORTH IT. Yes it means sometimes on a human level I may be disappointed or hurt, but the thought of living a life without feeling the deep intimate connection of another seems empty and sad to me.

So as my friend Linda says ya gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince, and I might add, they all are princes... And we all are princesses (or queens, lol). We experience, we give, we receive, we enjoy, we grow, we challenge each other... Sometimes they move on, and sometimes, I believe, it's possible they stay around for the long haul...

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Thoughts on abundance

Illness or accidents often give us the opportunity to slow down and take stock in our life. This has been the case for me... It has also given me the opportunity to watch the law of attraction work pretty much immediately... A few examples; a few days ago I was wishing I had sausage gravy and bisquits from Caspers diner, our local diner that I go to pretty regularly on friday mornings... I was imagining the taste and smell, thinking about the great conversations that happen at the diner, and how Barb only makes sausage gravy on friday mornings.. No joke, withon 5minutes Barb showed up at my door with sausage gravy and a get well card.
Another example; I was wondering how I was going to pay my rent without having an income. Logical wondering for someone who is self employed... Within 24 hours my friend offered me rent in exchange for gift certificates for when I was well, then another friend said she was going to organize a garage sale and all proceeds would go toward paying my rent...
Such validation that what we think we create. I let go, put out what I needed without attachment to how it was going to come and I was plesantly surprised!
Why is it that we worry? This experience is reminding me, totally reinforcing within my cellular structure that worry is wasteful and useless... We are taught that it is good to worry, but I for one will do less and less and less of it so that I can manifest more and more and more of what I truly desire!
Manifest away dear ones! It is totally worth your awareness of words thoughts and deeds!!!

Friday, June 17, 2011


Since I last wrote I have had many changes (does that surprise anyone???)... The biggest one was that on Sunday I broke all the bones in my ankle and dislocated it too... Now I am needing pins and plates to stabilize the ankle so that I can walk sometime in the future. Although painful (and let me tell you, it is crazy painful) I am asking for the blessings to be shown to me. There are many but the most apparent one is that I am having to sit in silence. I don't have a television to distract me and I am not really able to concentrate on reading at this time, so I am praying and listening. Wow what you hear when there is no "sound" to distract you. The birds sing to me every day, and I feel as if I can understand their songs. The trees whisper and I sometimes feel as if I am dancing with them in spirit. My breath has become a very large part of my conscious awareness. My breath and my thoughts. And then of course its the thought of "the great whatever"... Whatever.... This is what my reality is right now, this is where I need to be or I wouldn't be here. This is it. What I created for myself to experience silence. To connect to my new surroundings. To be one with "whatever"... And every once in a while I get that little thread of a thought of fear about the upcoming surgery, and I remind myself that "whatever" will be will be. I will heal. Life will continue or not, and it all just doesn't matter. Its good. Its really good. And I am grateful.

One of my Guides has said "its a time of great purification" so I allow for that energy to move me, inside and out. To allow me to really connect to those in my life. To be humbled by the stepping up of family, friends, and community and by the KNOWING that this is just a bump in the road. A time of silence. Just a time of ...

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Healing ~ a journey worth taking

As part of my own healing and journey inward I have been getting up each day around 4am and watching the world come to life. The birds, WOW! The geese on the pond, one lonely honk, then many as if one is the alarm clock...
The sun peeking over the horizon and the trees in sillhoette stretching their arms and doing QiKung with me. The mosquitos need to remember their place. That's what I keep reminding them. No biting till after QiKung and only if it is absolutly necessary for survival~ please find another hostess. The dogs at my feet hearing new morning sounds too. So much to be grateful for and all of you too! So much gratitude fills me, and soon the black goddess will be ready for my consumption. So as a word, or sentence, or photo, or conversation tries to pull me back into what I have lost, I remind myself of what I have gained. Keeping track of the minds "tricks" of wanting to be suffer, wanting to be the victim, wanting to jump up and down and say what about me... I remind myself again, the mind rests in the blood... The mind is necessary too... But for this moment it will take a back seat until the heart has mended and is strong enough to hold the amazing energy of the intellect!

And so, the day has begun, and I am in Joy! Hoping the same for all of you! Much love!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Getting acclimated

Amazing how the Universe Works... Within 3 weeks I manifested a new home (which was MADE FOR ME!), new massage space almost renovated and ready for clients, a beautiful country setting for my dogs to run and play, and peace that passes understanding...

I am unpacking with intentionality, and making sure that everything has a place that feels right and fits.

I am continuing to process the death of a dream, a relationship, a family, a business partnership, a large financial investment and a future that seemed pretty set... I feel like I am a strong person and handle life as it comes, but I find myself having memories seep into my thoughts. I continue to state my mantra "I forgive you and I forgive me for getting stuck in the process of change and for not being able to see each other clearly"... Mostly that helps, but at this moment I am still confused. Confused at how someone can go from one day being in love, planning classes together, talking about building onto the property, buying t-shirts for a business ($$$), and co-parenting, to the next day not wanting to be in a relationship and asking me to leave "our" home (which of course he said all the time was ours, but in reality even though I renovated it, it was his) by July. Is there someone else? What changed? How will I be reimbursed for my investment, etc.... Questions that I may never have the answers to. Ahh, the unknown.

The unknown. That really is what life is all about, right? We never really know someone elses heart, Their thoughts, their reality do we? All I can do for myself is to practice not taking it personally, to allow the hurt to be felt so that it can be released, and to be thankful for the lessons.

Moving forward consciously aware of the process and filling my heart with gratitude. It is the only way ... The only way ... the only way....

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


I have handed myself an amazing gift. The gift of learning how to love unconditionally when someone else is unable or unwilling to accept it. Love doesn't have strings. It doesn't keep track. It is an energy that when you learn how to stay in the flow of it can heal all wounds, can make all things bearable, can fill your heart over and over again so that you see your blessings instead of your challenges. I am so grateful ~ for life... for love... and for you!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Transitioning with Love

I have once again been given the opportunity to practice staying grounded and centered in a time of chaos... My life is changing once again. The partner I have been with for the past 2 years and who I planned a future with is now separating from the dream. Fortunately we are both being kind and trusting the process of transition. I never know what good will come from challenges, but I always trust that it is for my highest good and for the highest good of all concerned. With that said, I am human and I am feeling the separation both physically and emotionally, and I am so grateful that I have tools in my toolbag to help me through it. May all others who experience great change in our upcoming times of world change also have tools and be searching, like me (but in their own way) for the high road always...

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Little things

Like most people I have periods in my life where I am learning and growing more than other times. During my growth periods I find that my mind is often re-thinking over and over and over events and conversations and choices. These thoughts seem to penetrate my conscious mind a lot lately. I have been practicing letting go, bringing my attention back to my breath and staying in the present moment by noticing the beauty in each moment, the gifts that are available to all like air, water, the trees, the crickets, the frogs, and on and on... I know that this is a growth period for me because when I am vibrationally getting ready to change, my mind thinks it will put lots of other thoughts in to my awareness so that I get stuck in the muck and remain prisoner to it. That's what happens to lots of folks (me too sometimes), we get stuck in the muck. Instead of attempting to figure things out I am letting things happen, I am practicing remembering ~ that we are all one. That we are all one does mean that we allow others to harm us or that we accept uncomfortableness in our homes or communities, it means that by standing in my own truth with love in my heart I am able to say No, or That doesn't work for me, or Yes without attachment to the other persons opinions clouding my own.
So when the little things start to be big things, I know that its time to stop, breath and smell the roses so that my heart leads and my mind takes a back seat!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

In the end only kindness matters

I have been listening to the song Hands by Jewel and it brings up so many wonderings for me. I feel like sometimes I get caught in the being of "only kindness matters" and then forget that it doesn't mean that someone can speak to me unkindly, or use words or "jokes" that make me uncomfortable, or bully me because they have not be taught to respect others unless I allow it. If I don't speak up and let someone know that I am not okay with a situation, then how can I expect it to change? People treat us how WE TEACH them to treat us with our response to them. And if we don't stand up when we see someone else being treated unkindly, then we are just as much at fault as the perpetrator of the unkindness. Please Please Please folks, speak ~ with love, with respect, with kindness toward yourself and others. Its the only way we have a chance to make it through the changes that are happening in our world. Words to think about by Jewel:

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear

Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray

And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands
We are God's hands

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Resurrection Sunday and I am changed

Today, Easter, has always been celebrated in my family with church, new clothing, and big family dinner. Yes we talked about Christ and the resurrection but I never really felt it until today.

Late last night Brutus brought me a robin's nest. Still wet with cold mud, empty of eggs, with lots of threads of different grasses, twigs and even a strand of what looks to be dental floss... It felt like an offering to me. I felt like Brutus was trying to tell me something, but I just couldn't hear it with all the other noises around. I went to bed and forgot about it.

This morning I went for a long walk with one of my dearest friends Athena. She belongs to the Greek Orthodox church in Ithaca and she was telling me about midnight services and how Father Tom spoke to her heart and used a lot of metaphor to explain resurrection. It was beautiful to hear the story from Athena. Our hearts were full of love and as she spoke she was animated, humorous and serious all with her greek accent and sprinkling of greek words.

Toward the end of our walk we were so grateful for the birds that had seranaded us the whole hour we were walking and we stopped at what some people would see as "just a swamp". We saw it as beauty! The dry clumps of weeds with water surrounding, the many different greens and a few drops of red from the skunk cabbage beginning to bloom. As we were standing giving thanks a red winged black bird flew past us and landed on an old cattail. I told Athena how many people think of Robins as spring but I always think of the red winged black birds as my sign of approaching spring. I shared with her how Robins are always around, common everyday birds, that were just always present so I didn't really associate anything with them. I basically took them for granted...

Moments after this conversation we came upon a Robin which looked to be dead on the side of the road. We could have chosen to walk on by, but instead we stopped. For some reason I felt connected to this "dead" robin. I can't even explain why... As we stood looking down on this bird I knelt beside her (I say her because the bird felt feminine to me) and scooped her up into my hands and began to unwind her chakras and pray. Within seconds I felt her heart beat and Athena and I saw her open her eyes, look at us, take her last breath and then close her eyes. We felt her last heart beat, saw her chest rise and fall one last time as she released her spirit from the physical body that had been her vehicle here. And as she closed her eyes and I felt her bodyheat transfer to me I was changed.

We carried the Robin home and talked about what we imagined her life to have been and thanked her for the gift she gave us. We did a ceremony (and by the way, how did Brutus know the Robin would need her nest??) to witness this beautiful creatures exit from earth bound beauty into spirit soaring. It was beautiful, the words, the feelings, the community (our small community albeit), the sacredness of life and death.

Today with that Robin I understood and I am changed.

Blessed be, Janet

Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Blue Jay leads me into the heart

Today at our chakra workshop we were going in-depth into the 4th chakra, the heart. The heart chakra has two parts to it, the heart protector (green) and the pure light of the heart itself (pink or gold). I tell you this because my shamanic journey today was, like most of the journey's I take, very profound... Here's how it started:

I was running after, arms outstretched, a bright blue jay. The ground underneath me was a cobblestone street and as I run I am aware of the sound of my shoes (I think wooden shoes) clapping on the ground. As I become distracted by the sound and looking down at the shoes and cobblestone I lose sight of the blue jay. When I look up I am entering an open air market place. On the outside of the market are many vendors with colorful tents, ecclectic music, and celebratory voices and sounds. They are setup up in a circle on the outside edge (heart protector?) of the marketplace. When I arrive in the center I look around me and there are three dancers, dressed in black and wrapped in sheer colorful scarves. They begin to whirl around in circles (staying in one place) and their eyes are "glued" on me which seems to me to be their focal point to remain standing and not lose their balance. As they begin to twirl their scarves dance too and the colors "come off" the scraves and fill the air with a fine mist of color. The 3 dancers begin to sing. The song is Someone's knocking at the door, by Paul McCartney and Wings...

Someone's knockin' at the door
Somebody's ringin' the bell
Someone's knockin' at the door
Somebody's ringin' the bell
Do me a favor,
Open the door and let 'em in(repeat)

And as they are singing I look around me and I notice that the "awnings" of the vendors are rolling up and the sun becomes a spot light that is streaming on me and the dancers get closer and I am whisked into their hands that have formed a "kinds chair" and they are raising me up as if I am in a broadway play. And once they raise me up as high as their arms will allow I look around me and their is a glass staircase and on the edge of the glass staircase is beautiful purple and blue water as far as I can see and as I am taking in the vastness of seeing nothing but water forever and ever I hear "Just jump" and the journey ends and I am back in this physical reality.

So, what is the blue jay saying to me, what do I gleen from this wonderful adventure inward? Many truths and many things that will help me stay connected to my center, my heart, so that I can just jump and trust that the water will take me where I need to go!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Here's your mission should you choose to take it

I had a very strange dream last night which I shared with others, asking for their interpretation. The dream left me feeling outside my body for quite a long time today. It was one of
"those dreams" that when you close your eyes you still see it, feel it, smell it, and sense it in every cell of your body... Here's my dream in a poem, and since I feel like it is a challenge being offered to me I am calling the poem "Here's your mission should you choose it..." Hope you enjoy!

She takes my hand
The old young woman
I know her, she is
The Mother of us all

She guides me to the ancient ones
gold sarcophagus
resting place of the familiar

Crimson colored sanctuary
filled with illusions of importance
Die and drift along on the
scent of her incense

Chatter subsides
replaced by empty cookies
fortunes scattered and left behind

I feel the weight of her
wishes whispered and I
wonder out loud in my head
Do I have it in me?

Friday, March 11, 2011

The body never lies

Sometimes you know even if you don't want to know...

Lately I find that my body is talking to me more than usual. I am feeling some challenges, so I am paying attention and asking myself what is this about. I find it so interesting that the mind will rationalize, make excuses, divert attention, label, compartmentalize, and so on but the body just says "this is not comfortable for you so I am going to produce some dis-ease so that you have to look at it". No judgement, just matter-of-fact this doesn't serve you so pay attention...

The dis-ease that I am feeling is something that is not easy for me to pay attention to. I have once again setup a pattern in my life that I have had for many years so now I have to ask myself the tough question... What is this about and how can I heal it.

I feel like I am again a "guest" in someone else's house. Although I live here and the "words" spoken are that this is my home too, the actions on all of our parts is that it is theirs and I am a guest. I feel that my boundaries are not respected and that I am unable to make that clear, even though I have spoken my truth, and have many many times asked for the boundaries to be respected, they are not. Is it that the boundary is unreasonable, or that I am getting the opportunity to stand in my own truth and say this is what I need to feel safe and respected and this is where I need to be in order to remain.

I always know when something is a big, life lesson... My body tells me. It starts gently, a few aches and pains, a bit of stiffness in the joints, a few headaches, and then if I am not paying attention it begins to scream. It is screaming right now, no sleep for me tonight. I will be listening to my body and beginning the exploration of how to create ease for myself and I will be asking for guidance from the angels on what is the highest good for all concerned. If I listen to my mind I will continue to "not see" it, but if I listen to my body, I will learn quickly, because the body never lies...

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Traveling companions

Many of you know personally, or through my constant talking, my Bru dog. And, many of you know, again personally or through word of mouth, that I often spiritually travel (out of body experience, astral traveling, etc) during drumming, meditation, energy work and the like... Some of my travels have been very confusing (kindof like I say to myself what was THAT about) and some of my travels are very clear and informative (when specifically seeking information), and some of my travels are so cool that I just want to stay forever... That's where Bru comes in. He "travels" too! I can always tell when he does because his eyes glaze over and he sucks on his back leg or his tongue "gets stuck" on his paw for sometimes as long as 20 minutes (picture), but the coolest thing that he does is... he sits by my side while I am out of the physical body and if I "go too far" he puts his head in my lap and starts talking (dogishly) to bring me back. For this I am truly grateful!!

Cheers to my traveling companion and bff!!

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Journey to the Root of it all

The drum begins and my breath becomes my being and I am carried to a beautiful early morning on a quiet beach...

The crocodile came to me and she smiled. In her front teeth she was gently holding a golden egg. It felt like HER egg. She seemed quite pleased with herself. Then she turned and headed toward the sea. I watched her enter the water and swim deeper and deeper. Once I could no longer see her she jumped out of the water like a dolphin does ~ head first and was standing on the tip of her tail. I found it humorous that she, an alligator, was appearing to be a dolphin and as soon as I had that thought she became David Cassidy (from the partridge family TV show) and she was walking on water and singing to me.

She sang "Sing, sing a song, sing it loud, sing it strong. Don't worry that its not good enough for anyone else to hear, just sing, sing your song" then she seemed to implode /explode (but it wasn't scary of violent just a change of shape) and she was the snow in a snow globe. And I was holding the snow globe standing in a meadow.

In the meadow I was surrounded by sweet scents of lavender and apples and I began to run across the meadow (like in the old movies when lovers run across a field in slow motion to embrace at the meeting) and then I too (in a poof) changed into energy (like in the movie powder). I then found myself inside the snow globe and once I was aware of being in the snow globe it became the golden egg being ever so gently held in the smiling crocodiles front teeth and I was once again standing on the quiet beach witnessing the crocodiles joy and I knew that I was home.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Initiating The Power (Rhonda Byrne)

I have been listening to a fantastic audio book called "The Power" (which I highly recommend). It is all about the power of Love to create the life you truly desire. One of the tools she offers is that instead of talking about, thinking about, and feeling something that brings you disappointment, frustration or negativity, take 7 minutes everyday and think about everything/everyone you love. Feel how it feels (or would feel) if you had the job you really want, enough money to have everything that would make you happy, etc. Just an "aside" note ~ I have been a very happy person and have already been practicing many of the tools she offers, and I am still really getting alot out of this audio book!

So, I decided that I am going to keep my Love list daily! I am focusing on the new house that I desire up by the pond. Its an A-Frame wood structure. It has a large open living room and kitchen, a bedroom and full bath on the main floor, and a cool stairway up to the master loft. In the master loft there is a full bathroom with a jacuzzi tub large enough for me to lay down in and the room, of course, is shades of purple. In the loft there is a half wall/banister with intricate carvings on the side I can see. And the crystal chandaleer in the center of the livingroom makes very cool kalaidascope sparkles along the wall as the sunshine comes in the glass doors of the livingroom that looks out onto the pond. There is a a deck that goes around the house that I sit on in the morning as I drink my hot jamaican me coffee! There is a full basement that's open for sam to ride his bike in in the winter or his skateboard, and a small bedroom for sleeping. The woodstove keeps everything hot in the winter as do the radiant floor heating!
I can feel it, I love it, I imagine it, now it will come as I continue to imagine and feel it into being.

I offer you this information so that you can make the choice to love or not, to create the world you desire, or to live in the world created by lack. Chooose Love!!

I am!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Dying Consciously (and living consciously too)

I am training in an energy therapy that is called dying consciously. It has three parts to it: Recapitulation which allows an individual to follow a river of consciousness so that they can without judgement look at their life and release their physical body. Folks during this stage may have symbolic visions or memories of actual events. They get to say all their "I love you's" " I forgive you's" and "I'm sorry's". And if the person is not conscious the family is asked to bring in photo albums, remember stories, and share their memories (since the last faculty to leave us is our hearing).

The second step is a chakra clearing because as a person is remembering their "stuff" energy "bubbles" to the surface of their chakra's. Assisting the energy to leave allows for the chakra to spin full and bright so that when we get to the third step, the death spiral, the life force energy has an easier time disconnecting from the physical reality. Chakra clearing is not new to me, I have been doing this for ten years in my work but its a bit more powerful when the energy coming to the surface is really ready to go!

The third step is the Death Spiral. In order to be able to perform this ritual I needed to experience it, and so I did. The cool thing for me was this: when I was released from my body and my spirit was traveling it took me back to my accident (2001) and since I don't have a clear memory of that event (except for the months and months in a hospital bed afterward), it was interesting to experience and interesting that I went to an event in which I was given a choice to stay here or go and I chose to stay (obviously). What I didn't remember was a tube being inserted into my throat. Actually the first week afterwards I was pretty drugged with Morphine so its quite a blur. Anyway, I ramble... When getting the death spiral done when I remember feeling outside my body and back to the accident I suddenly felt nausea and gagging and I couldn't stop coughing. And the teacher working with me said that moments before I started coughing she felt like something was caught in her throat. Now how cool is that...

So, one other thing that this work allows us silly human creatures to do is to release that which no longer serves us ~ a metaphysical death if you will... That could any life transition whether it be a divorce, job, moving, children going to college, etc. What a gift to be able to release and move on. Without judgement, without guilt, without fear. Just moving on in love and light.

So my dear bloggers, if you are experiencing any kind of life transition or if someone you know is dying, please send them my way. I am honored to offer this as part of my tool bag and hope that it benefits others as much as it has benefited me.

Peace, Janet

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Even in my sleep I pray

Strange dreams last night... What I recall is this: I am in a room with Bella, our chocolate lab puppy, and I am feeling dark. I leave the room, but Bella decides to stay and when I am shutting the door I turn and see her sitting with her back to me. The door shuts and I see blood draining out the space between the door and the floor. I feel panic. So I pray. I send love. I am love, I give love, I receive love, I believe in love, I engage in love, I am always becoming more love.... (that's what I begin to pray in my dream). Then I am awake but asleep, and I feel like my partner sits up, walks toward the door and I see him in the doorway ~ tall dark and walking away. So I say outloud "honey can you get me a drink of water" but instead of the figure in the doorway responding I discover that he is sleeping soundly and has not gotten up at all... The figure disappears and I am left feeling confused ~ awake or asleep? And so I pray. And then I rest.

What this dream means to me is that when in any dark situation prayer turns it into light!!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The new year and our old girl Mucca

Seems like years since I've posted, but its really only be three weeks...

We have had many changes. As always, the first of the year begins with pulling my tarot cards and doing my Runes for the year. Then, I burn all my past year journals after reading them and giving thanks for the lessons learned. Then I set my intentions for the upcoming years hopes and dreams, and send it all to spirit on the smoke of a bonfire. Once done outside, I take the new energy in. I rearrange my furniture to shake up any stagnant energy, switch all my plants around to see who's happy where, and when that is all done, I sit with a cup of "hot milk tea" and listen.

This year's new year was a little different, though. We had to release our oldest dog (Mucca) from the bondage of her body. She had a week of getting ready, her whole family came to say good bye and thank her for her service and m she passed very easily. Ond our vets (Groton City Animal Hospital) allowed us to usher her onward with drumming, rattling and sage and say goodbye for as long as we needed to.

With that said, tonight I believe Mucca came to play. I had the other two dogs outside for a walk in the dark, and I heard them barking, then I heard 3 dogs barking. I tried to make excuses, our neighbors dogs etc., but when I knew it was 3 dogs barking in the same vacinity of the yard, I ran inside to get my camera. Here is the photo I took...

Cheers to you Mucca, thanks for gracing us with your physical presence for 10 years and now your energetic presence for many many more!!