One of my morning rituals / practices is to process my dreams and pay attention to the first thought of the day. Today's thoughts were about my ex. They were angry thoughts, thoughts about his betrayal, his untruths to me, and my lack of listening to my own intuition about what was happening... My dream was about a moment in our relationship that I failed to see... In my dream we are standing in our (what I thought was ours) driveway and he kisses me. It started out feeling tender but then his tongue was that of a snakes, split...
In my dream interpretation I remember moments like in our relationship that when I felt his words did match his actions. This happens for most of us at one time or another in our lives. We are human, we make mistakes, we sometimes don't have the hudtspa to be totally honest... hopefully we learn and make better choices the next time. Anyway, back to the dream... As I processed and really felt the emotions that I had attached to the information I recognized that today will be a day of letting go completely. Because the dream and my morning thoughts "matched" I know that this is a thought / feeling pattern which does not serve me. In order for me to not put out that negative vibration of anger, today will be a day of mantras to bring me back to neutral so that I don't create this same lesson again in the future.
My mantra today will be I forgive you and I forgive me for getting stuck in the process of change and for not being able to "see" each other clearly. Every time I start to think about the "facts" of our relationship I will remind myself of the mantra. May I continue to learn from my life experiences so that when I encounter this type of energy again I will be aware. Not judging just aware of myself and the choices I make to either engage or not. To see it and be able to say " no thank you, that doesn't work for me" without any attachment to good or bad, right or wrong.
Continuing to work on my own stuff is my promise to the world. As I get clearer and clearer I put that energy out into the world which in turn makes it easier for others, since in my world we are all one!
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Janet, you are passionately moving forward within, for yourself...and hence in your sharing you give to others. You mention "letting go completely"... like letting go of the river's edge. We ride the river with you and in support of your letting go, cause we too want to let go and enjoy the rivers flow. I wrote a poem called, Bleeding Soul, where I talk about a good friend who beat me up in front of her friends cause I was white, and she knew i would endure it for her, I'd go along with the "game" so she could look stronger to her other friends, and make peace with them at my expense. I forgave her, but I did not forget. I too let go of the river's edge... and oh the water felt so good in the travels. We remained friends, but the reality was always there...My body knew, by my mind forgave. "Sorrow trickles down, on the ground, between us"... so my point is, the ground is an amazing healer, and your sorrow will be laid to rest in the earth's healing... be in the river, but also remember, that the earth holds your experience. And we all walk upon your past.
ReplyDeleteLetting go could look like this... Jim's insenitive burial of our beloved Robin, who died in your hands and we shared her last breath, only for Jim to dig a shallow grave and give her a meager hearted burial, or you can sit, linger with Robin as she moves through the spirit world, and dig her a grave worthy of her life's purpose. My long winded point... there is no completely letting go, as the universe captures all, but it's how you let go and where you send it... but don't dig a shallow grave...Sit with Robin's wisdom, and don't completely let it go...but bury it in a well defined place, and let the earth do with it her will.
Beautiful athena! Sitting with Robin tonight! Can't wait to share tomorrow what she gives to me.
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