As I Try

I have a lovely client who is a most amazing poet and writer who shared a poem with me that was written after our first session together. It is a reminder that we all hold "things" within us that we hang onto until we are ready to release. Bodywork / energywork are wonderful tools that can help us human beings let go of that which no longer serves us so that we can become the person we came here to be ~ our authentic self!

Because this touched my heart so that I asked if I could share it. Now a few years later I am sharing it. This is not my story, but I am honored to be holding space with/ for/ and around this beautiful human being who is a light to many! ~~~

As I try to find my higher power
I hear the masseuse ask if I was
ever hit in the head.

"you mean was I beaten as a child?"

No, no (visibly disconcerted) I mean, were you ever in an accident, did you ever have a head injury?

I want to tell her that I just left my wife
of 29 years, or explain the chronic, odd
dyslexic challenges I have recently
discovered, thinking these seemingly once
precious facts about me might answer her
question, but all of it seems to ruin
the aromatic lavender vapor that is deep
in my sinus-even my question about beatings
seems flightless and threatens the inner calm
she has just helped me reach.

I notice that her face is angelic-it is a face you
could swim in on a warm day in Belize-all fresh
and unused just like the pictures in National Geographic.

and your throat and the area around the heart seems constricted, like you want to say something and can’t get it out.

I think about my stifled inner child and my constant need
to express myself with words
and wonder how on earth
my body, in such a relaxed state
could betray me this way.

I want to tell her that I am trying to find my Higher
Power and then she gives the final report; the middle meridian (the pelvis area) and everything below doesn’t have much energy flowing through it.

you seem to be disconnected from your source power which flows from your feet up into the body, (she gestures generously and with love) and adds; but that is probably a factor of all that lower back pain

and I think, no,
that’s not the only reason.