Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Thanks be to those who give us an opportunity to practice

This past weekend I spent in Vermont on a family vacation with my husband, daughter, daughter-in-law, and step son. It was a very long ride, with a cranky 16 year old, a nervous doberman, a husband who is not a good traveler, and me, who has been having some health issues due to lyme. Can you say "Meow"... Once I got used to the picking picking picking about how dumb I am (of course 16 year olds do know everything), how crappy we are as parents, and how un-fun our time together was, I needed help. On the first day there I did not have time to do my usual morning prayers, Qigong or walk with Brutus. And boy did I feel it. But the second day I made sure to incorporate those things that I normally do in the morning. I was up earlier than everyone else, and while my amazing husband made coffee, I went outside with the critters, and did 20 minutes of QiGong. After the first five minutes I was feeling better, and by the end I was really noticing the difference between practicing and NOT practicing. The second day went much better than the first. We spent time with BIG ROCKS at Smugglers Notch and visited a lovely covered bridge with a great stream that we were allowed to play in. The water was the great binder. My husband, his son, my daughter and her love all played in the water. There was laughter, and creativity, and wow an amazing Cairn that came out of that time.
When we were done we went home for some terrific grilling and a powerful bon fire. The next day we had to leave and travel the long 7 hours home... It was stressful to say the least. Again I did not have time (or shall I say MAKE TIME) for my morning practice and the teen was cranky and the dog was hot and the husband was uncomfortable and the wife (me) was tired. When we finally made it home I had had enough. I had been silent during the bickering with the boys. I had been silent when the step son wanted to rag on his mother. I was silent when the subject of money and work came up and the man child thought we should just give him what he wanted... I was silent ON THE OUTSIDE... But on the inside I was screaming. I was plotting, and planning, and running conversations and come backs in my mind. And boy was I feeling it in my body... So, after some time at home and allowing my body to get re-acclimated to home, I was ready for a conversation. My mind was quieted and I was asking the angels for their presence. I imagined myself on the side of the stream, watching the man and his child build a cairn. I imagined my heart being washed with that clear stream water. I imagined the building up, rather than tearing down, of our collective energy. And then I was ready... And the angels came. And the angels brought my step son into the kitchen. And the angels opened both our hearts. And we were able to be clear, kind, and keep the conversation only to what was necessary to work out our stuff. I did not say all the crazy stuff that had been running rampant in my mind during our drive home. He was not critical, sarcastic, and distant. I was able to really listen to him and he was able to really listen to me. And we both actually felt better about our relationship than we had in months (the consensus we came to). And I believe it was all because of the water... The softest thing moves the hardest thing. Thanks be!

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