Brave enough to follow your own path

I have had some amazing visions / messages over the last few weeks and I am jumping in the river...  While jumping in the river I am reminded that when we are following spirit and the messages we receive, they may not be logic in the 3D world.  If we are brave enough to follow our path then the gifts are wonderful, exciting and scary since we have one foot here and the rest of us is evolving.  True friends are those who will share their experience with you and their fear of the unknown, and yet will be so excited about the changes and your joy that they support your insight with out  tearing down the fabric of your choices... Much time has been spent lately praying and meditating and listening.  It has also been spent in relationship with others.  Knowing how you function best, even if it is not the norm or what others believe is "the best way" is a gift.  Being able to stand in your "knowing" is sometimes challenging to others, but it is always beneficial.  Remember YOU are the only one who thinks and feels inside your head and heart.  Trust it, Trust it, Trust it even if friends say "yikes, don't trust it... Where's the plan...  What's going to happen... Can't do it... ".   Love life well, love fiercely and trust the process!

Becoming

As I sit here beside myself looking deeply, wondering is it worth it?  Is my job here to experience the far right of pain, physical and within my soul and then left swings the scale and my heart is so full of love and gratitude.  Must I have these challenges to see?  I do see.  May I always know how to decipher the messages. Are they in my head or do I reach out and pluck them from the vast experiences of all.  

I ask myself, “who am I to you”?  How do I know the answer?  Have I always known?  Is the coming and going of love a gift?  Another chance to teach and learn about this most amazing energy and its different shapes and layers?  How do I accept that love and still protect my heart?  Do I practice living in the moment without regard for future consequence?  Will it break me?  NO!  I am reminded to go within my heart, through skin and muscle and connective tissue to the covering of the heart.  I explore this pulsing protective covering and I find I slip around to the back door.  I pull the door and it sticks.  I pull a bit harder and it is open and the light inside is so powerful I am left speechless.  In awe that this beauty is housed within my heart, and all hearts.  I must speak from my heart.  This light full of color will be released and spill out on those who my words touch.  So precious is this knowledge that I have buried it for years.  

My reality is changing and expanding like a pregnant belly.  That secret, that life about to be – not fearful, but active and ready.  Contractions…  this birth of myself.  I am ready to be expressed.  

Clear Messages

The last five days has been an amazing time for me.  Feels like a life time, yet in this reality it has only been five days...  Very Very interesting...

So, many messages have been coming.  The one this morning was huge, almost made me fall over...  While meditating and listening all 26 of the Ladies here appeared to me.  They formed a circle around me and three of them stepped forward (Lillian, Fannie and Margaret).  They said "daughter, it is time to move on, the next steward is ready and needs to step forward.  We (the three of them in unison) will come with you and the rest will stay to assist the new steward in the mission."   So, don't know where I'm going, but I have a feeling AND I have contacted three people whose names appeared to me while journaling about this experience.  Who knows what dreams may come, but I'm in the river, practicing radical trust, and remembering that I am always ALWAYS taken care of.  

Looking forward to keeping you posted!!

Words of Wisdom from Grandmother Margaret

As many of you know I was part of the organization that brought 8 of the 13 Indigenous Grandmothers to Groton in October of last year.  It was an amazing experience and one that changed my life in very interesting ways.  Last week I was fortunate enough to be able to spend some time with some of the Grandmothers and had the most amazing conversation with Grandmother Margaret (Red Spider Woman).  We talked about our world and we talked about women beginning to step up in the world and how we need to help our young women know how to be powerful and walk in a good way.  The best part of our conversation was when she "saw" me.  She looked right into my eyes and I felt like she was part of my soul and her advice to me was this:  love well, love fiercely, and the rest is not your responsibility, let it go it will hold you back.  This is such good advice.  She reminded me that we cannot control anyone elses thoughts, feelings or actions.  We are only responsible for our own walk here.  And, as long as we are walking with honor and integrity we will always be okay.  Doesn't mean we won't experience pain, sometimes it is the great teacher.  But it does mean that all of our experiences are meant to teach us.  What I hear is that when looking into the face of darkness or dark painful experiences, imagine that you are experiencing grace unfolding to teach us of power and love.  Ponder that, huh?!  

Who says you can't see a connection to other worlds

This past weekend there was a healing and psychic event in The Sanctuary.  It was fabulous and the Ladies were ever present.  I also felt the presence of Grandmother Margaret from the 13 Indigenous Grandmothers Council.  The picture here was taken by my sister-in-law while I was "having a conversation" with Grandmother Margaret in spirit.  Notice the portal to the spirit realm (orb) around my head.  It was quite a "ride" for me.  Enjoy the day!

Embracing yourself in all of your forms

Last week I experienced an amazing journey while receiving energy work from a skilled shaman.  As he was connecting with me, and the drums were playing I began to leave my physical body.  I was transported to a beach (Hawaii??!) where I was dancing to the beat of the drum.  Out of the water appeared a very large solid woman, high priestess is what I was feeling.  She walked up to me and touched my forehead (6th chakra, center for intuition) and she guided me to my knees and said "Daughter know thyself".   Next vision on the journey was dancing up a mountain with many others, all clothed in bright robes.  We get to the top of the mountain and we are at the mouth of a volcano.  I disrobe and dive into the lava, but it is not hot, just thick like swimming in a pool of warm bubble gum.  As I am swimming I dive deeper and come to water and then go through a passage way into a sparkling pool of water at the mouth of a waterfall.  I am absorbing the sun and feeling the cool water on my skin.  Out of the woods appears the high priestess from the beach.  So I swim over to the edge and she picks me up as if I am a kitten, by the "scruff" and she snaps me into being a snake.  The snap is like when you have a wet towel and you want to shake the sand off of it...  As I am now the snake and I feel the damp earth on my belly and the wet grasses across my back I come to a sunny opening in a field.  I crawl onto a hot rock and lift myself up and she appears again.  This time she snaps me into becoming a dragonfly and I am suddenly feeling the air currents on my face and hearing the sound of my wings beating and propelling me forward.  I am so enjoying this freedom when suddenly I am flying in the face of a shaman.  He is wearing an eagle headress and has whiskers and his face looks like a cats face.  He is studying me.  He whispers something that I can't make out and reaches up and grabs my dragonfly tail and snaps me like the high priestess did, and I am once again myself standing in front of this amazing not quite human being.  He reaches out to me and I feel as if he is worshipping me and honoring every cell in my body and he puts his arms around me and they become wings.  And I am enveloped with the pure knowledge of inner peace and simple joy that I have ever felt.  As I am incorporating that feeling into my physical body that is laying on the table, I come back to myself and know that all is well and I am free.  

Sound interesting?  It was a great experience that I can go back to anytime the reality here is not feeling peaceful and I can return to the place of knowing that we all have come from.

moon energy

Seems to me many people I have talked to lately are being shaken up and their molecules are being rearranged...  So last night I drummed with the full moon for myself and all others who may have experienced a little shaking up.  Hope is all we have... and it is good!

Here is a photo taken this morning on my walk... It is of the moon goddess and the sun god meeting and me being naked and exposed to the perfect balance of the universe. HO!

Computer Love

Computer Love
By: Carol L. Hill
August 3, 2009
www.carolsmojo.com

Scanning, endlessly; profiles of promises
Profiles of lies, dishonest intent. Some claim
Hurt has brought them here, some profess
They are looking for someone dear.

Non-intimate, an open bar room of tasteful
And tantalizing treats. Some claim “friendship“,
While they are professing the same to another.
An easy place to meet, to break and release…no faces
No emotions, no burdens of someone else’s pain to 
Bare.

No need for truth here, no need for man or women
Of any “substance“. Pages and pages of deceptive
Lures, lies, or at best half truths. Some married,
Some so consumed with the hateful consuming
Pains of past relationships…that any lonely soul
Will do. “She hurt me now look…I’ve now hurt you!”

Like an insane orgy of hurtful souls, computer
Love has gotten old. When true love is there, when
It find me…it will not be through the fake faces of 
the profiles I read…

Computer love… nope, it just ain’t no damn place for a 
Woman like me.

Nauthiz, Rune of Constraint, necessity and pain

As some of you may be aware, my partner is no longer my partner.  This was such a lesson for me and since I trust the natural signs that come to me to help propel me ahead I thought I would share the Rune I picked today.  

Nauthiz:  A cycle or initiation, it is the great teacher disguised as the bringer of pain and limitation.  It has been said that only at the moment of greatest darkness do we become aware of the light within and come to recognize the true creative power of the self.  When something within is disowned, that which is disowned wreaks havoc.  A cleansing is required and in undertaking it you fund a will and strengthen character.  Remember that "suffering" in its original sense merely meant "undergoing".  Thusly being required to undergo the dark side of the passage and bring it into light, remembering to control your anger, restraining impulses to be ugly and mean, and keeping faith firm.  

Whew, very "right on" for me today.  Sitting in the light with my crystals and smudging the crap out of the church!  Ho!