As I sit here beside myself looking deeply, wondering is it worth it? Is my job here to experience the far right of pain, physical and within my soul and then left swings the scale and my heart is so full of love and gratitude. Must I have these challenges to see? I do see. May I always know how to decipher the messages. Are they in my head or do I reach out and pluck them from the vast experiences of all.
I ask myself, “who am I to you”? How do I know the answer? Have I always known? Is the coming and going of love a gift? Another chance to teach and learn about this most amazing energy and its different shapes and layers? How do I accept that love and still protect my heart? Do I practice living in the moment without regard for future consequence? Will it break me? NO! I am reminded to go within my heart, through skin and muscle and connective tissue to the covering of the heart. I explore this pulsing protective covering and I find I slip around to the back door. I pull the door and it sticks. I pull a bit harder and it is open and the light inside is so powerful I am left speechless. In awe that this beauty is housed within my heart, and all hearts. I must speak from my heart. This light full of color will be released and spill out on those who my words touch. So precious is this knowledge that I have buried it for years.
My reality is changing and expanding like a pregnant belly. That secret, that life about to be – not fearful, but active and ready. Contractions… this birth of myself. I am ready to be expressed.
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