Sleep

Many of my clients tell me they have trouble sleeping. I, on the other hand, have usually slept like a baby, but as life evolves sometimes things change. Since I have been with my partner Jim, my life has drastically changed. It is quite wonderful being in an adult relationship with someone who "gets me". In this wonderful relationship there are also wonderful children and new rules to play the game by. I am patiently learning, but this learning process has now afforded me the gift of many sleepless nights. I had forgotten how having young children in your life is joyful, amazing and really fun most of the time, and during those other times it makes you want to pull your hair out.

Now when the children are "yours" and you have had them since birth and you know the ground rules and everyone is on the same wavelength then those pull your hair out moments are manageable ~ breathing, breathing, breathing... When the child has not been yours since birth and you are blind sided by the rules or are unaware of what exactly the rules are then the hair pulling out times become "oh my gosh, will I be able to keep my cool and not react in a way that will leave this child in therapy for years to come"...

At some point in the new adult/child relationship the playing field needs to be explored. the child tests and pushes to see "who's in charge" and those times are usually pretty easy for me, then its about setting clear boundaries ~ that wont work for me ~ and allowing the natural consequences of the behavior to warrant the changing of that behavior (ie. comfortable for everyone or leave the room until it can be comfortable for everyone in the community space). But when you don't see "it" coming and you have no idea what set off the behavior then it gets to be the hairy times and then I tend to retreat so that I don't regret anything for the future.

Now comes the part about sleep... The days that I don't really understand what has happened in the child's mind to create the unkind responses are the nights that I lay awake pondering... What if (blah blah blah). So tonight I ramble but out of the ramblings I find that an answer has risen to the surface. It is not about this day. Its about seeing it differently, believing it can be different and trusting the Universe to bring to me that vibration of difference. There, it is done and now I can lovingly release this day, and drift into dreamfilled sleep knowing that tomorrow will take care of itself!